Lil' Boy Ishaq

the glory of love.

2009-06-08T04:06:00.000+08:00

help me on my feet again.
take me where ive nv been.
show me that good things come to those who wait.
tell me that im not alone.
tell me that what im feeling isn’t some mistake.
cause if anyone can make me fall in love.you can.
save me from myself .you can
and its you & no one else.
if I could wish upon tmrw.tonite would nv end.
if you asked me I would follow
cause if anyone can make me fall in love.you can.
baby.when you look at me.
tell me what do you see?
are these the eyes of someone you could love?
cause everything that brought me here.
now it all seems so clear.
baby.you're the one that I've been dreaming of
if anyone can make me fall in love.you can
save me from myself.you can
and its you and no one else.
if I could wish upon tmrw.tonite would never end.
if you asked me I would follow
cause if anyone can make me fall in love.
only you can take me sailing in your deepest eyes
bring me to my knees and make me cry.
and no one's ever done this.
this is where it all begins
so tell me it will never end
i cant fool myself. its you and no one else.
if I could wish upon tmrw.tonite would never end.
if you asked me I would follow
cause if anyone can make me fall in love. you can

..show me that good things come to those who wait..

you and me all alone girl.
what's going on? will you tell me what's wrong?
its like you're locked up in your own world.
with nothin to say..
you keep me guessin but I see in your eyes.
youre shuttin down cuz you're so sure.
that I'll be another mistake.
you know that I won't be that way.
baby. whatever it takes...
just waiting for yesterday.
youre scared of fallin again.
why do you feel alone?
hold onto me and just remember.
never let go.youll be safe here .
Im the one for you tonite.
Im the one for you forever.
If it takes a little time.ill wait
baby.whatever it takes.

takemyhand.illmakeyourheartsmile.

you used to be so happy.
used to see you smile and laugh all the time.
I was there for you whenever you need me.
when you were in tears.
id be your crying shoulder.
when fear engulfed your heart.
id be the one who fought them away.
ill always be the one who whispered sweet nothings.
making you smile.
and when things turned sour.
wed reconcile. Knowing that tmrw will be a better day.
when I needed someone there . there you were .
and when I held you . my heart skipped a beat .
your sweet whispers would lift me of my feet.
now that were apart.
everythings broken&jaded.
these broken wings brought me back down .
yet here I am still trying to make you smile when youre down.
lately it seems like your days have faded to shades of grey.
everynite I stare up at the stars and pray.that youre okay.
in your heart.id love to stay.
tears run down my cheek knowing that im not there for you.
cuz these words are sweet nothings compared to being there beside you .
I know that life’s not perfect. but when im with you. its imperfectly perfect.
its all that I ever wanted life to be like . sweet & simple .
here I am holding on after so long.keeping the faith strong.
cause you turned this ordinary life of mine into a fairytale.
hope keeps me going but love keeps me alive.
waiting for you to see that we were meant to be.
you&me. were love’s epitome.

thepromise.

2009-06-01T00:48:00.001+08:00

babygivemethischancetomakethewrongsright.
tosay.dontwalkaway.
ilosteverythingwhenyouregone
leftremeberingwhatsitslike.
ipromiseiwontletyoudown.
ifyoutakemyhandtonight.
ipromisewellbejuzfine.thistime.
ifyoutakemyhandtonight.
whereeveryougo.illbewaiting
wheneveryoucall.illbethere.
whateverittakes.illmakeyourdarkestdayssobright.
iwontletthisgo.
iwontstandandwatchasthesewallstarttofallapart.
illpieceitallbacktgt.rightfromtheverystart.
gal.givemeachancetomendyourheart.
ipromiseyou.

poems&promises.

iknowthatinyoureyesthesewordstheydontsuffice.
butgalimtryingmybesthere.
ijuzwanttobetheonewhomakesyouhappy.
wanttobetheonewhomakesyourlifemeaningful&colourful.
wanttoshowyouhowmuchyoumeantome.
andwhenyoufeellikeyoureallalone.iwanttoholdyourhand.
whenyoufeellikenooneunderstandsyou.iwannabethehonewhodoes.
wannabetheonewhomakesyoulaughwhenyoureabouttocry
whenyouredown.iwannamakeyoufeellikeyoucantouchthesky.
wannabetheonewhopaintsrainbowsinyourheart.whenyourdaysfadetogrey.
allforthegloryoflove.foryou&me.

tobewithyou.

2009-05-27T05:47:00.005+08:00

ifonlyicouldmakeyousee
howmuchyoumeantome
galidgivemylastbreathejuztobebyyourside.
towatchoveryouwhenyoureasleepatnite.
toknowthatyourfearsillfight
andtoknowthatillbetheretodrythetearsyoucried.
theretomakeyourdarkestdayssobright.
givingyoustrengthtocarryonwhentheresnohopeinsight.
keeping you safe.beingyourguidinglight.
theretoholdyouwhenitscold
toreachforyourhandandwarmyoursoul
spendaneternitywithyouasourlifesunfold
lovingyouforwhoyouare.
thinking aboutyouwheneverIam.nearorfar.
babyillgivemyalljuztobeyours.
iknowthatitshardforyou.tobelieveinmeagain.
whenileftyouthatway.cryingintherain.
whenthedayswerefilledwithtears&pain.
whenyoufeellikeyouvelostallyouvegain.
wonderingifthingswillgetbetteragain.
ijuzneedyoutoopenyourhearttomeonemoretime
youknowthatillgivemyalljuztoseeyousmile
ifyoucanseethativebeenheresincethen
tryingandtryingtogetwithyou.
failingmiserablyeverytime.
butnvgivingup.nvbackingdown.
gal.havefaithinmepls.
itsbeensomanynightsnow
wonderingifyoullcomebacktomylife
waitingforyoutomakemylifecolourfulonceagain
allthosenightscryingintherain
wishingthatyouweretheretohealthepain
iknowthativeleftyoubroken
andimtryingmybesttomakeeverythingalrite.
iknowthatwordsarenothincomparedtoactions
buthowamIsupposedtoshowyouhowIfeelwhenIcantseeyou.
ivebeentryingtogetyoutosee.
howmuchyoumeantome.
imnotperfect.andicantmakeyourlifeperfect.
butillmakeitascolourfulasitcanbe.
iwanttosharemorehappymemoriestgt.
wannapaintrainbowsinyourheart.
juzlikeyoudidwithmine.
cuzyoumakemefeellikeivenvfeltbefore.
andiknowthatnooneelsewillmakemefeelthisway
nobodybutyou.
allineedisforyoutobelieveinmegal
givemethestrengthtocarryon.

tobewithyou.

we all have our scars,
you left me with one six months ago from today
one that have healed for ive made peace with it
I know that you had your reasons and I respect that
so here I am staring at the moon tonight
wondering if youre thinkin bout me too
don’t let our two worlds spin apart.
we come this far. gal .pls.don’t look back in anger.
make peace with the past.

forgiveme.

2009-05-21T02:54:00.003+08:00

thesehauntingnightmares.
willitevergoaway?
theseemptysmiles.
williteverbeheartfelt?
thesetears.
williteverstop?
whenineedyou.
willyoubethere?

whyifeelimperfectlyperfectwhenimwithyou.
wonderwhyihowyoualwaysmakemefeelcompletlyincomplete
andwhenimfallingapart.
youmakemefeellikeacompleteworkofart.
forgivemybrokenpromisethatyoullnvseemecry.
forgivemysins.mywrongdoings.mymisguidedpaths.

是我想太多?
你能把那些恶梦赶走吗？

angel of peace.

2009-05-19T03:20:00.001+08:00

givememorelovingthanieverhad.

makeitallbetterwhenimfeelingsad.

tellmethatimspecialevenwheniknowimnot.

makemefeelgoodwhenihurtsobad.

barelygettingmad.
piecemebacktgtwhenifallapart

tellmethingsyounevereventellyourclosestfriends

imsogladifoundyou.
lovebeingaroundyou.
youmakeiteasy.easyas1234.

theresonlyonewordtosaythosethreewordstoyou.

iloveyou.myangelofpeace.

somewherebetween.allyourlaughs.longtalks.

stupidlittlefights.allourjokes.ifellinlove.

broken & jaded.

2009-05-15T02:36:00.000+08:00

iseverthingthatidoinvain.

williforeverdrowninthispain.

waitingforthatrainbow.allaloneintherain.

galletmeintoyourheartonceagain.

ifittakestimeillbepatient.

knowthatistillbelieve.

iknowthatifijuzstaystrongicanmakeit

andtryharderwhenijuzcanttakeit.

andwheneverythingaroundmefeelssobrokenandjaded.

illlookatthepictureinmywallet.knowingthatgal.werefated.

onthewingsofahappyswallow.

2009-05-11T03:11:00.001+08:00

everythiniheldclosetakenaway.
onthewingsofahappyswallow.
herewithoutyougal.imhollow.
likealostchild.guidemelikeyouusedto.
showmethelightthatiusedtofollow.
veilmefromthepain
sheltermefromtherain.
tellmethatmywordsstillputsasmileonyourface.
tellmeinyourheartivenotlostmyplace.
givemethestrengthtolive.
areasontowakeupfromthisnightmare.
galshowmethatyoucare.

areyouevenlistening.

iloveyoumummy.

2009-05-10T01:26:00.001+08:00

its mothers day . i wanna thank my lovely mummy for so much . but most of all i wanna thank her for treatin the gal in my life as her own daughter. i wanna thank her for listening to me and advicing me about relationships and stuff .. i wanna thank her for being there for me when everything came crashing down . and for all the times i made you cry . im sorry . for all the nights i left you worried . im sorry . for all the pain i caused you . im sorry . im so happy that ive a mummiie like you . you accept me for who i am and care for me like no other . you stand by me thru it all . picked me up when i fall . most of all .. thanks for beliving in me and her ..

loveyouloads.

bought for mummy icey cream and a stalk of sunflower.

itsyou.

2009-05-07T03:29:00.003+08:00

itsmydeclaration.
youremyinspiration.
asistandaloneagainstthisworld.
cuzyoulove.
andyoubleed.
andyoustolemysoulandsetmefree.
mademeallthaticouldbe.
sometimesithinkyounvknew.
theonlytruthiseeisyou.
itsyou.
arethereanywordstosay
thatwouldevermeanenough
whenthelightrunsfromday.
willthedarknessbetoomuch.
willieverbeenough?

yousayyoureleavin.
asyoulookaway.
iknowtheresnothinglefttosay.
juzknowimhere.
wheneveryouneedme.
illwaitforyou.
soillletyougo.
illsetyoufree.
andwhenyoufindwhatyouneedtosee.
babycomebacktome.
whenyoufindyoucomebacktome.
takeyourtimeiwontgonowhere.
picturemewithyou
illkeepyourthingswithme.
illbehereforyou.
itsnotthesame
itsfarforordinary.
thepainiendure
galyouremycure.
butthismistakethatimade
haveledmefarawayfromyou.

doyourmbwhenyouaskedme.
whatmakesmesohappy.

so tell me can you hear these words tonite.

thefightforyourforgiveness.

2009-05-01T04:27:00.000+08:00

broken
thisfragilethingnow
andicant
icantpickupthepieces
andivethrownmywordsallaround
buticant
icantgiveyouareason
Ifeelsobrokenup
sobrokenup
andigiveup
igiveup
ijustwanttotellyousoyouknow
hereigo
screammylungsoutandtrytogettoyou
youaremyonlyone
iletgotheresjustnoonethatgetsmelikeyoudo
youaremyonly
myonlyone
mademymistakes
letyoudown
andicant
icantholdonfortoolong
ranmywholelifeintheground
andicant
icantgetupwhenyouregone
andsomethingsbreakingup
breakingup
ifeellikegivingup
likegivingup
iwontwalkoutuntilyouknow
hereigo
screammylungsoutandtrytogettoyou
youaremyonlyone
iletgotheresjustnoonethatgetsmelikeyoudo
youaremyonly
myonlyone
hereigosodishonestly
leaveanoteforyoumyonlyone
andiknowyoucanseerightthroughme
soletmegoandyouwillfindsomeone
hereIgo
screammylungsoutandtrytogettoyou
youaremyonlyone
iletgotheresjustnoonenoonelikeyou
youaremyonly
myonlyone
myonlyone
myonlyone
myonlyone
youaremyonly

myonlyone...

gal,thisismyfight.fightforyourforgiveness.
.aintgonnabackdown.imsorry.

tillwereoneagain.

2009-04-28T02:34:00.004+08:00

a smile.

whatisit?

whatdoesitfeellike?

iveforgottenhowitfeelsliketobehappy.

iveforgottenhowitfeelsliketosleepsoundlyatnight.

iveforgottenhowsweetdreamslooklike.

iveforgottenhowasweettextmessagemakemefeel.

ivememoriestohold

whenthenightsarecold

truthbetold

imunsureofhowthiswouldunfold.

unsureifthisloveisminetomould.

alliknowisthatillgivemyheartandsoul.

itsbeenfivemonthsnow

sincethedaymyheartstoppedbeating.

sincethedaythislifelostitsmeaning.

sincethedayifellfromtheheavens
sincethedayilostthechanceivebeengiven

ithasntbeeneasy.notforyou.notforme.

thisfaith.itwillnotdie.nottillitakemylastbreath.

itsnotawasteofmytime.notasin.noracrime.
forthischanceiwillwait.tillwereoneagain.broughtbyfate.

tillwereoneagain.

iloveyou.

2009-04-25T03:25:00.006+08:00

i nv met a gal like you before.youre one of a kind.gal you blow my mind.if i had to wait forever for you.gal i would cuz there no one else that make my life more worthwhile.no one that makes me happy the way you do.one more chance is all i ask for.i know that youd say that ive been given one too many chances that ive somewhat missued.i know you think that im not serious.i know you think that its juz gonna be the same like before.but i promise that I will not let you down this time.one more try.call me stubborn.call me crazy.if you believe in me.girl.pls understand.everything maybe broken.but love will piece it all back together.take my hand girl. youd nv have to be alone.i love you.i still do.i know that sorrys wont make it better.neither will those tears i cry.cuz if theres one thing that i know.gal i know youd want to see me happy.juz like how i wanna see a smile on your face.its the same for you.i know.its not a waste of time.not when im in pursuit of something so beautiful.gal you showed me how simple the joys in life can be.
. its you & me .

withwordsleftunspoken
beenafool.girliknow
maybeintime
youdchangeyourmind
lookingback
iwishicouldrewind
oritisbrokenthistime
canweworkitout
youvebeencryingfortoolong
icanseeinyoureyes.
yourereadytobreak.
ifiaskedyoutosay
wouldyoubemine.
timeisalliaskfor
ijuzneedonemoreday.
onemoretry.

iloveyou.

gal you look breathtakin.i want nobody nobody but you ~.

unwilling.

2009-04-22T23:57:00.002+08:00

whathappenswhenlifeseemssodifficult

tillthepointthatitbecomespointless.
whenthereasontowakeupinthemorningistakenaway.

whenthetearsyoucrywillnvbringherback

whenthedoorisslammedinfrontyourface.

whenyoufallsohardyoujuzcantgetup.

whenyougiveupallyouhavejuztobewithher.

whenyoureforcedtobelieveinwhatisuntrue.

whenihavetobelivethatthereaintgonnabeameandyou.

whenyoulldoanythingtoseehersmile.

whenyoucryaloneatnightwishingshewouldcall.

whenyoupraytotheoneupabovetolethersee.

howmuchitmeanstome.
whenyourheartachessobadthatyoucantbreathe

whenyouwishthatyoucouldjuzsleepandnvwakeup.

whenyoudoanythingtofeelwhatyouusedtofeel.

whenyouredyingforsomethingtoholdonto.
whenitseemsthatnoonebelievesinyou.

whenyoupraytogodeverynitejuzforonenightwithher.

whenthedaysseemtofadetogrey

whennothinginthisworldcanmakeyousmile.
whentheresavoidinyouthatyoucantfill.

whenyoureforcedtogoagainstyourownwill.

sorryfortherain.iminpain.

itsinyoureyes

2009-04-22T02:55:00.000+08:00

iknowthatyoumaybescared
iknowwereunprepared.
sharewithmethesecretsthatyouvekeptinside
laywithmeunderthestarsforjuzonenight
letmeholdyouclose,yourfearsiwillfight
forgetallyourworriestonight
illkeepthemoutofsight
takemyhandillbeyourguidinglight.
juzlikearayoflightthatshinesthruthemist
itsinyoureyeswhereifindpeace

itsinyoureyes.ifindpeace.

mylove.myprincess.myeverythin.

2009-04-21T01:42:00.000+08:00

underscarletskies

uponanangeliseteyes

withasmilesopure

caughtoffguardbyyourallure

mylove.mylife.myprincess.
siyan.

take my hand tonight.

2009-04-17T04:11:00.004+08:00

tookmyhand
touchedmyheart
heldmeclose
youwerealwaysthere
bymysidenightandday
throughitallbabycomewhatmay
sweptawayonawaveofemotion
ohwerecaughtintheeyeofthestorm
andwheneveryousmile
icanhardlybelievethatyouremine
thisloveisunbreakable
sharethelaughtersharethetears
webothknowwellgoonfromhere
causetogetherwearestrong
inmyarmsthatswhereyoubelong
juzcloseyoureyesandplsdontletmego.
letsnotthinkbouttmrw.
takemyhandtonight
theraindrops.
thetearskeepfalling.
imnothingwithoutyou.
thruitallimademymistakes
ivestumbledandfell.
idbleedmyheartouttoshow.
thatiwontletgo.

babytakemyhandtonight.

twist in my story.

2009-04-14T05:36:00.004+08:00

mywhispersturntoshouting.
theshoutingturnstotears.
yourtearsturnintolaughter.
andittakesawayourtears.
soyousee.
thisworlddoesntmattertome.
illgiveupallihavejuztobreathe.
thesameairasyoudo.
tillthedaythatidie.
icanttakemyeyesoffyou.
imfinallywakingupfromthetwistinmystory.
itstimeiopenupandletyourloverightthrume.
thatswhatyougetwhen.
youseeyourlifeinsomeoneelseseyes.

missyoursmile.

do you.

2009-04-05T01:44:00.000+08:00

maybethatdecisionwasamistake
youprobablydontcarewhatihavetosay
butitsbeenheavyonmymindformonthsnow
idlovetotoktoyouinperson.
butiunderstandwhythatcanbe.
youanswerthisonequestionforme.
ijustwonder
doyoueverthinkofme
anymore.
doyou?

doyoueverthinkofmeanymore.

youwerethere.

2009-04-01T02:42:00.004+08:00

whenineededyouthemost.
wheniwasdownandout.
thereyouwere.
youmightnotthinkthatyoudidmuch.
buttoconfideinyou.
itwasallineeded.
tohearthosetwowords.
itmadeeverythinseemalriteagain.

youwerethere.thanks.

ineedyou.imissyou.iloveyou.

2009-03-26T05:27:00.001+08:00

when you hung up felt so shattered.
though i know its not my matter.
im hoping that you'd better.
cuz your smile is what im after.

mytearsrundownlikerazorblades.
whenthedaysseemtofade.
youcryforsalvation
longingforredemption.
inmeyoumaynotwishtoconfide.
yourworriesyouhide.
ilayworriedonmybedallnite.
prayingtogodthatyoudbealrite.
askinggodtogiveyouthestrengthtofite.
thisworriesthatengulfyouinside.

'your guardian angel by sHaQ'

When things go terribly wrong ...
And you feel like giving up ...
Just remember that you still got me ...

I’ll lend you my shoulder to cry on ...
My ears to listen to ...
My hand to hold ...
My feet to walk with you ...
And when the time comes that you smile no more ...

I hope that you’ll look up at the stars and think of me ...
Cause no one else makes me happy the way you do ...
And I hope that the same goes for you ...

To My Princess.
i still mean everyword from this poem .
i know that you've heard this a million times before .
but baby you know that it was solely meant for you .
from me to you .
and till today i mean everything i say cuz i made an oath .
an oath to be there for you .
forever & always .
no matter how much i may shatter .
i promise you that , the oath that i made to you will nv shatter .

thebestthingabouttonightisthatwerenotfighting.
coulditbethatwehavebeenthiswaybefore.
iknowyoudontthinkthatiamtrying.
iknowyourewearingthindowntothecore.
butholdyourbreathe.
becausetonightwillbethenightthatIwillfallforyou.
overagain.
dontmakemechangemymind.
oriwontlivetoseeanotherday.
iswearitstrue.
becauseagirllikeyouisimpossibletofind.
yourimpossibletofind.
thisisnotwhatIintended.
ialwayssworetoyouidneverfallapart.
youalwaysthoughtthatIwasstronger.
imayhavefailed.
butIhavelovedyoufromthestart.
evenwhenwevebeenapart.
youvebeenthekeeperofmyheart.
cuzillgiveupallihave.
juztobebyyourside .

ineedyou.imissyou.iloveyou.

promise.

2009-03-25T04:40:00.002+08:00

breakdown .
i cant take this .
i need somewhere to go .
i need you .
im so restless .
i don't know what to do .
weve had our rough times .
fightin all nite .
and now youre just slippin away .
give me this chance .
to make the wrongs right .
to say .
dont dont dont walk away .
i promise .
i wont let you down .
if you take my hand tonight .
i promise .
well be just fine .
if you take my hand tonight .

iusedtobetheoneyouconfideupon.
maybenowtheres'jon'.
iwannamakeyoufeelthewayifeelwhenimwith you.
iwannabetheonlyhandyouneedtoholdonto.
buteverytimeicallyoudunhavetime.
iguessillnvgettocallyoumine.
another lesson.
icouldntgetittolearn.
youremyobsession.
igotnowheretoturn.
falling apart.
icrashandburnatyourfeet.
imcountingthesecondstillwemeet.
iknowthattheresamillionreasonswhyishouldntcall.
buthowdoyouexpectmetowatchyoufall.
iwannabetheonewhofightyourfears.
iwannabetheonewhodryyourtears.
iwananabetheonewhokissesthepain.
iwannabetheonewhowalksbyyoursideintherain.

ipromise.

not the same.

2009-03-24T04:43:00.000+08:00

4 days. 7 hours of sleep . shaq is practically a walking zombie . correction . a good looking hawt zombie .

hahahaha . yeah . apologies to all my patrons . haven update for quite sometime le . well shaq has been working hard , getting sick , working somemore . working even more and more . its like since saturday i chiong . 11- 5 then next morning 6 - 9 @ marinabay for some marathon then rush down to OCC 11-3 . then came home at about 4 . slept only at 5 . then 11 - 11 again today . im like super worn out . practically half dead . wishing i was dead . but like when see all the money can liao ar . happy liao . steam to the max to the power to the mampat .

kinda lazy wanna blog about the past few days . perhaps if i feel like theres a need to then i update ba .

its not my smile that i long for . its yours.

juz cant seem to make myself happy these few days . its like not saying that i not happy . but yeah . juz not happiness from the heart . since we've been apart .

juz not the same . not without you .

=((((

2009-03-21T03:04:00.003+08:00

it gets harder everyday . but I can't seem to shake the pain. im trying to find the words to say . please stay. it's written all over my face. i juz cant function the same when youre not here. calling your name when no ones there. and i hope one day youll see nobody has it easy. cause everybody knows . that nobody really knows . how to make it work . or how to ease the hurt. weve heard it all before . that everybody knows just how to make it right . i wish we gave it one more try. one more try .

praying to god that i didnt lose it . what would your valentines' present be without it . would you forgive me if you knew ? .

siyan im sorry.

im sorry.

empty

2009-03-19T04:29:00.000+08:00

i know that im not supposed to be living life like this . i know that you wanna see me like happy and stuff . honestly . im trying . but what if the happiness that i seek is the happiness that i share when im with you . what if my joy is in seeing a smile on your face . what am i to do then ? . am i to act like i didnt promise to be there for you . am i to act like my 'forever & always' was something that wasnt meant . perhaps i meant it more than youll ever know . i know that you used to tell me not to use such a word cuz like its something that usually doesnt hold true . but what if i tell you now that it is . what if i tell you that i want to spend my everyday with you by myside. would you believe me ? . would you say to me those three words that i long to hear . would you stand by myside . let me fight your fears . dry your tears . juz like i used to .

to feel you hands brushing through my hair . your head on my shoulder . your warmth . your voice . your smile . your eyes . your silky straight hair . your rosy red cheeks :) .

yet another failed attempt today . but like it was super scary today . cuz like i saw her friends . and like they saw me too la !! c'mon . super like freaking scared sia . like my heart beat like toot toot train . but like didnt get to see her . but like still went to her blk and like stood at the letterbox there . then like walked back at an unsually slow pace . flooded with the reminicense of me and you . and like went back home . reached home at about 1 am . juz like last time when i used to send her home after sch and stuff . another wound . but not shattered faith .

i may not see you . but i feel you .

tears & rain.

2009-03-18T03:33:00.003+08:00

well i think i got to share this with the priviledged few who patronise my blog . this is what your dear sHaQ dreamt about ytd .

well it started with me and leen lying down on the empty road starring at the stars and like sharing with each other about the stuff happening in our lives. then like for some aparent reason . i stood up and walked out of the road to the pavement . then like leen kanna langar . then like the truck langar her and like nv go past her . it stayed there for like a little while . then like it drove away . i went to pick leen up and like there was no blood . she juz coughed abit and like i carried her to go find a cab to get us to the hospital . then like a car stopped . and like inside the car was her ( not leen , the love of my life the ' her ' ) grandparents. and like they were ang moh . then they ask me if i knew her then i was like yeah . i love her . ( i got to see my grandfather-in-law and grandmother-in-law- ) hahahahaahahahah .. then like reach hospital . doctors worked on leen . then like bring leen go fishing . then like got one very big jumping lobster .. ( the jump is like dam gay sia .. i swear that it was the gayest lobster ever !!! )

the dream ended and i woke up smiling like one idiot .i spent the entire day trying to figure out the meaning of the dream ar .. then like i think i figured out one part . she used to call me longkang lobster and like say me gay .. maybe thats why my dream got gay lobster . then like leen almost got into an accident . dun ask me about her ang moh grandparents . maybe cuz she like to hear the ang moh accent . hahahahah ...

well thats my bloodly retarded dream . only can come from the ' jumping lobster ' ...

( HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH i swear if i could like show you how it jumped .. you guys would like laugh till you pants fall off .. luckily i sleep wih boxers that have gutters sia =X )

i was like having icey cream with pocky and like he asked me " wheres mummy?" i couldn't answer him =( .. he was so sad =((( ... life is juz so empty for me and him ..

tears & rain .

where are you? . i need you so much right now . i need to hear your sweet words . i need to feel your warmth . i need to find myself lost in your eyes once again . i juz need you so very much right now siyan. sorry .

always have . always will .

2009-03-17T03:47:00.000+08:00

been rather random these few days . shaq was like super bored during work and like . . .

and like i was so bored today that i went to count how much i've saved up in happyboy =)

guess how much there is ? hahahah slowly count . who can give me the exact amount i give you my handsome photo with autograph .

seems like im super bored today . like my days have been like rather boring . though i try so very hard to fill my days with like loads of plans recently . seems like im empty without you . its juz not the same . perhaps it will nv be . not till im back tgt with you. why? i dunnoe either. perhaps cuz its where my heart belongs and where my heart feel at home . i feel safe when like im with you . and though i may have like kind of been in constant disruptions from my path that i promised to take . i will like always find my way back somehow .i thought that she could like take me away . i thought that we would like be so in love so that i can heal the wounds . cover up the scars . but i was wrong . i know that ive no one to blame but me , myself and i . i guess moving on is not that kinda shit . its not that i can like jump into another relationship and like expect to forget the other in a blink of an eye . and like now that its been like quite some time . about 4 months since that day . i still dun think ive moved on . like how?! . you asked me to . but like its against my very own will . i know that i used to say that id do anythin for you . but like moving on . i juz feel that it will not bring a smile on my face . as well as yours . perhaps these days have been like the worst for me . it hurts like fuck.like maybe i was like too blind to see all that you gave to me . all the chances that stood before me . all the doors that you opened up for me . all the risk you put in . all the love . all the care . all the concern . all the beautiful things in life . its all about you . and now that ive opened up my eyes . it juz seems like its too late . and at times i ask myself why i don't like move on and stuff . why ?! i think its cuz i know that i found the one . somehow . i juz dont think that im wrong . call me stubborn of whatever . i know my heart more that anyone else right . and i know when i feel at home . when i feel love . where i belong . why do i wake up every morning . you . why do i smile when ever i look back at the past . you . why do i wait . you . why do i stand tall no matter how badly i fall . you . why do i nv think twice when i do things for you . you . guess that theres peeps that will think that im kinda dumb or whatever . but like what do you do when you know that youve found the one and you know that its like your destiny to be with her ?. and even if youve loved another . you couldnt make her see how much she meant to you ?. the love i have for you . has it engulfed me that much . with not a ray of sunlight from the outside able to pierce right thru. even with the sun so bright . i lock the doors and stay in the darkness . waiting for your hand to hold me close and make me feel that rainbow once again . perhaps you feel it to . perhaps its the same for you . perhaps you juz feel like its not in your line of thoughts to express yourself like this and like you choose to like differ from this path instead . but like i know that i will not and if i dont let you know . you nv will . all you will have are juz unsecure assumptions of what might be . but like you will nv know how things are . how things be . maybe you juz need time . maybe you arent able to find the words to say how youre feeling right now . maybe you feel that no one cares . but i do . always have . always will .

2009-03-15T22:17:00.004+08:00

went out of hse like 5 am today . yes 5 am .. seriously .. i didn't sleep last nite . i barely slept this past few days mabye like 2 hrs a day or so . like that only . then like been using my contact like almost 24/7 sia ..

like luckily rong rong called me sia .. cuz like we were supposed to meet up and like cab down to sengkang for the SubUrban Marathon thingy ..and i was like half dozing off , with my hair all done .. wearing only my boxers. then like quickly change and like went down to meet rong.

then like cabbed down and sHaQ was so brilliant to like figure out where rivervale was hahahaha .. thank you thank you .. then like went to help out at ' baggage ' wah sian lor .. again .. first standard chartered then now this .. hahahaha ...

but like season liao mah .. then like did quite well .. but i gotta say that waiting time was like so much more than standard chartered de .. i think cuz all guys taking care de =X ..hahahahaha ..

we get bag anyhow throw at the table then later wanna find we take like 30 mins and more to find one bag ... hahahahahahaha .. jia lat sia ... then like had help from the ladies from the other places and like things went more smoothly after that =) .. luckily sia .. if not ar.. die sia ...

then like we went home after the marathon ( initally we wanted to like go town straight ) but like we too sweatly and all sticky .. so like we went home .. showered .. got changed and went to town... and i got to say that we went to watch the most wicked awesome horror movie of all time...

i sooooo book the movie to see with her sia ... we've gotta go see movie k =) .. my treat ..

hahahahaha like the movie was like hardcore scary sia !!!!! .. i swear that even two good looking masculine guys like me and syed was like jumping off our seats and like we were like so covering our faces like half of the movie sia .. rong was like using the popcorn to cover her face sia .. hahahahaha .. then like syed still can scare her sia .. hahahahahahahahaha laughed my ass off while getting scared to the core sia !!!!

to those who want someone to hug you .. bring them to see COMING SOON !!!! ... i swear she'll squeeze the living daylights outta you .. if he hugs you .. dump him .. he's gay .. hahahahaha ..

( actually cannot ar.. cuz hor .. if she listens to that .. then i tio dump a long time ago .. when we went to see chongkak ... hahahahaha ...)

hahahahaha .. but still when got to see the coffin it was like something like the other way round k ... hahahahaah .. then now we can see coming soon tgt k =)))... pls ...

hahahahahaahahah .. if i hug you .. juz dun give up on me k .. hahahaa i not gay .. juz showing you example of how gays are like only =X ... hahahahahahahaah .. what only ..

then like we went over to like dempsey to have icey cream and like we were kinda broke so like we went to share a 'mix and match' then like i and syed was like dam gay when we were ordering .. i swear that the gal behind the counter was like thinking that we were like gay...

hahahahaha outta randomness we went to like remove al that we had in our wallets and like this was it ...

she gave me extra topping .. ( benefits of being good looking .. definately ) .. hahahahaha .. i had my peanut butter puffs !! .. hahahahaha ...

then like we sat down and slacked and like played airhockey on iphone ..

omg i swear my hair is like super nice in this pic ~ ...

now i know why she used to tell me to cut my hair short .. wah lao .. my haircut now dam nice ar... really like model sia... hahahahah .. sHaQ is handsome =) ..
( and like i haven use my blazer yet somemore leh =X )

went home and slept after that .. slept from 8pm to 10am the next morning sia ... hahahahaha not pig okay .. juz catching up on the lost hours of sleep for the past for days ..

peace & love.

2009-03-14T02:49:00.003+08:00

it was like fifi's birthday and like we went to sentosa to celebrate with potluck and like i didn't bring anythin sia =X .. like i kinda woke up at like 10 and like prepared and left the hse soon after ..

took the bussie to like harbourfront .. with all the memories flooding me as it starred out of the window. and like how i wished that you were by myside .. your head on my shoulder .. the busrides are like 10 hours longer without you .. i swear .. i think i was on the bus for like 1 and a half days .. =X ..

then like reached vivo and yeah .. i juz like kept looking at this and that and went .. " we were here last time " & " we did that last time " & " we sat there " and like juz couldn't help but to be reminded by everything that we use to do and all those bittersweet reminisence that we used to share together at vivo.

and like i still rmb that if there's one place that you'd wanna bring me . it be vivo . im happy that you got to bring me there . and like if there's one place that i could bring you . id bring you to dempsey rd . =) ..

i juz wanna be with you . anywhere . anytime . but not with anyone else but you ..

went to church with sammy at around 5 .. the service was cool . it was like super zhun sia .. tok about ' moving on ' hahahahaha .. like why does it seem like its like aimed at me all the time ..

then like met all sammy's church buddies and like it was loads of fun sia .. even met up with primary schmate isabella =) ..

( my future daughter's name. ) isabella sofia yap =)) .. nice rite !!!!!! ... wah .. shaq pro sia ... if son . i'll let her choose the name =) ..

then like yeah .. i went over to harbourfront again after that and like met up with singing , stace , werty & alex . wanted to like slack and like thought of going for movies but like we didn't so like yeah .. we went over to the place where i used to spend lots of time with her and like we sat there and soaked our feets in the water and like juz chatted bout lots of stuff =) .

went home on the last train and like got back at around 1. walked home . in the rain .

meant to be.

2009-03-13T23:08:00.000+08:00

like i woke up at like 11 .. and like went out to meet up with leen & rong & syed =) .. we going IT fair .. all got their own reasons to be there somehow .. and like yeah .. so like we went there and like visited all our friends ..

i went to visit kang kang =)) .. hello ~ ..

then like we went to walk walk around and like i dunnoe why ar .. but like dam tired sia .. then like went to town to have hot fudge sundae icey cream and like went back home ...

perhaps i fucking wasted my time
but at least i tried to make everything alrite.
i tried to make things better.
but i knew that it wasn't gonna be so easy.
perhaps it will nv be.

i wish that i could juz find you. for a sec . i think that even a glimpse would make me smile . i guess that i juz have to give you time . for time heal all wounds . rite? . thats what mummy asked me to do . and like i guess its better to listen to mummy then to listen to my head . ( full of nonsence ideas , yellow pages ) -.- .. yeah .. no matter how busy i try to make myself . juz can't get the thoughts of me and you outta my head . its like i think about you juz as much or perhaps like more now that im here without you . were not meant to be seperated like this .

meant to be.

break the silence.

2009-03-12T06:52:00.000+08:00

went out with alex & sammy to alex's sec 4 classmates chalet .. ( i swear i dunnoe why but yeah .. we were there ..) and like the chalet wasn't much ar .. as in not the funnest but hor got something or shall i say someone .. which was like one of the biggest like things that reminded me of her ... long lost sister ?! .. i swear that it might juz be sia ... hahahahahah ..

but i was like happy that i fell in love with her and like no matter what she still the best one ever sia .. like no one can challenge sia =)) .. irreplaceable ..

took the first bus home .. which was like 6 am ... i swear i'm like dead tired right now sia .. wanna sleep ~ ...

like that nite i was like thinking alot about the past and like i was wondering if you were looking up at the fullmoon thinking bout the past that we shared too .. thinking about how we used to get thru all those 'bad times' and at the end of the day .. we'd tell each other that tmrw will be a better day .. and i could remember how warm it made me feel .. even if i was feeling so down and cold ..perhaps there's a limit to how many ' better tmrw's ' there are .. but i know that in my heart . there's no limit to it .. and perhaps you juz need your space right now .. need to like put whatever happened aside for the time being ..

its a shame that it had to be this way . its not enough to say i'm sorry . maybe im to blame or maybe were the same . but either way i cant breathe . all i had to say was goodbye . thinking that id be better off this way . but it was a lie . a gulitless twisted lie .

take my pain away . tell me i was wrong .

im counting the seconds til you break the silence. pls juz break the silence.

Open Your Heart.

2009-03-11T02:34:00.000+08:00

been rather sick this few days .. and the weight gainer is not helping .. i feel like puking all the time sia .. and like my body needs sleep .. sHaQ .. sleep !!! .. been sleeping for like 4 hours a day for about a week now .. its not helping . but i juz cant seem to fall asleep .

its like i can only sleep after at 3 ( thats the earliest. ) .. what happening to me sia .. this depression thingy is really getting the better of me sia .. cmon shaq .. you're not this weak ..

hopefully this four days ahead will be enough for me to rest and gain back my energy. have plans jam packed for me .. and like once again i think that i won't be good for my body ..

poor thing sia my body *sayang my tum tum* .. ahahahahaha ..

"Open Your Heart By Westlife."

I didn't mean to let you down
You have to believe it
I don't know what went through my mind
But now I can see

That I waited too long
To tell you how much it matters
Just to be right here with you
But I couldn't think of anything better
I should have told you so

Baby open your heart
Won't you give me a second chance
And i'll be here forever
Open your heart
Let me show you how much I care
And I will make you understand
If you open your heart
To love me once again

I'll try to make it up to you
I want you to know
Baby I swear that I'll be true
And never let go
If I waited too long
To tell you how much it matters
Just to be right here with you
But I couldn't think of anything better
I should have told you so

Baby open your heart
Won't you give me a second chance
And i'll be here forever
Open your heart
Let me show you how much I care
And I will make you understand
If you open your heart
To love me once again

We could relive this pain and sorrow
But we better do it in time
Start over here and save tomorrow
I wanna make you mine

Open your heart with a chance
And I'll be here forever
Open your heart and I'll care
And I will make you understand
Oh baby,
If you open your heart
To love me once again

Baby open your heart
Won't you give me a second chance
And I'll be here forever
Open your heart
Let me show you how much I care
And I will make you understand
If you open your heart
To love me once again

this songs says all that i need to say. and that i want to say . and all that need be said . i know that it might not be a second chance for me .. i've had many .. and i've screwed up all of them . but if you can find it in yourself to give me this last chance . i promise not to let you down . pls .

sHaQ's Cute Lil Tummy ..

2009-03-10T01:23:00.003+08:00

like went to pay my phone bill today .. and this shithead!! went to buy a bottle of weight gainer and stuff from GNC ... hahahahaha .. its like 120 .. its doesnt stop there ... cuz he later went to get himself a bicycle ! .. hahahahaha cheap one ..80 bucks ... mountain bike =) ...

Weeeeeeee now can cycle to work ... =)))) ... Lalalalalalalalalalalala ... Hopefully dun kanna langar then die X.X ... Haahahahaha ..

Was Kinda Unhappy That I Had Kinda ' Wasted ' 200 bucks .. on stuff ... when i could have like bought a ralph lauren polo or my salvatore ferragammo perfume . but like yeah ... i mean like i wanted to make my body more nicer by the end of the holidays mah ...

so like i guess. its nv too late ... and FUCK YOU SHAQ ... the weight gainer taste like crap ... Imagine shaq telling you that vanilla taste like cock .. something wrong rite ?! .. yeah .. i drank the weight gainer till i wanna vomit ... i swear that its still at the end of my throat till now ... hate this feeling ... i wanna sleep but like i'm afraid i puke my tummy out ... ( tummy?! yeah .. i shaq for the first time in his life saw his tummy .. it looks cute =) ... like i think that i got a tummy... and like i keep rubbing it ..=X ) ...maybe i'm juz thinking to much .. but like i think got leh .. hahahaha .. shaq fat =X ... HOLY SHIT ! .. farewell six pac .. we'll meet again .. promise .. and i'll try to get you two new brothers .. 7 & 8 pac =))) .. Hahahahahahaha ...

dunnoe if this will help or not ar .. but like somepart of me knows that its not how i look that means the world to her ...

we humans are strange .. we wish for something so much , but at the end of the day , we put our hands together and thank god for all that we have around us .. nv contented but satisfied.

funny.

can't wait to cycle to work tmrw .. hahahahahahaha .. if i dun blog soon mean i kanna langar by trailer or something ... =X .. i know not of why i speak of death as if i want for it to happen so much .. i remember when i told mummy that i want to die before her so that i didn't have to see her leave .. and she cried and told me that i was so selffish. it hit me then . that i truly am =( ..

why i fear not of death .. i dunnoe ... why i am toking about this now .. i also dunnoe .. maybe im hoping its juz around the corner for me ... but like yeah .. fuck . stop being selffish .

im gonna suffer while taking the weight gainer for this week =( .. help . =((((( ...

pls faster finish =((( ...

thinking bout you.
wishing that someday i'll break thru.
make you smile again.
see your beautiful eyes looking right back at me .
as we soak our feet in the sea.
knowing that my heart is free .

..okay .. i conclue that i not so emo today .. my poem sucks ..

well . i dunnoe what to say .. but like i looking forward to finishing the fucking weight gainer and like friday ... hahahaha off day ! .. after like a week of working non stop. and spending all 400 in a day ... on kinda stupid stuff ... but at least i settle phone bill. =) ..

im gonna name my tummy ..tum tum =) .. *looks down at tum tum and smiles*

why.

2009-03-09T01:18:00.001+08:00

buttons on the phone worn thin.
but not my faith
tears fall.
but fall , i shall not.
perhaps i'm caught.
in your eyes,where i found my heaven.

why do you do this to me.?
why do you do this so easily .?

i cant believe that it wasnt real.
i cant believe that you dont care.
i cant believe that you wish not to see me.
i cant believe that you care about me no more.
i cant believe that you can forget about the past that we shared.
i cant believe that my love for you is irritating & making your life miserable.

but i know that you have your reasons.
reasons which pierce my heart. if there's anything left of it.
i know not of your feelings.
perhaps you know not of mine?
nv really wished for much in life.
only to be by yourside . to have someone to turn to . to love . to care . to be there .
but i guess . its juz to much for you to give . perhaps i'm not worthy of such.
perhaps i nv was.

well dun ask me to stop. i'm not a angel . i bleed . i cry . i feel pain . i see my efforts fade in vain . a sinner wishing to be a saint.

perhaps its easier for you .. it will nv be easy for me . i'm sorry .

i hope you can find it in yourself to understand me . i've always tried to be the strong one . tried to be that pillar of strength for you to lean on . but when you break me to bits . i still wish to be the pillar . fighting to piece me back together . all alone i might have did it . or maybe ive not .

what happens when i fall . you still wish to kick me around . tear me apart till theres nothing left for me to give .

treat others the way you want to be treated ?
i fell . but i was alone .
i cry . im alone .

karma perhaps .

i've still got a million questions. but whenever i see you . i forget everything . i get lost in your eyes . in your presence i juz feel like the entire world revolves around us . nothing be emo about. all my problems & questions juz fade to a rainbow of colours in my heart.

why?

in your eyes.

2009-03-06T03:48:00.000+08:00

in your eyes , ive lost my place
longing for your bittersweet embrace.
its like i'm running a endless race.
but its like you've been taken away , without a trace.
our love & joy you might have misplaced,
the past you seem to be trying to erase.
shattered like a porcelain vase.
desperately finding my way out of this maze.
juz to see that smile on your face.

Another sHaQ's Original. 'in your eyes' .

its like raining heavily outside and like yeah . it reminds me alot of the bittersweet past we've shared. and how it used to rain everytime i cry. it still does . why i still do what i do .. why i still love you .. why i soldier on .. me & you . the love . the faith . the tears . the joys . the laughter .

Irreplaceable.

the only reason why i can't move on . its cuz nothing can take me away from it . i used to think that she could . but i guess i was wrong . so so so wrong . i know not why our paths intertwined but its the best thing that ever happen . ever .

where did i go wrong . i should have told you from the start . that im closer than you think when we're apart . nothing that i tried is a simple as this line . but without you . my life is incomplete . my days are absolutely gray . and so i try to let your heart know for sure that i have so much . to tell you every single day .

"True"

i wont talk.
i wont breathe.
i wont move till you finally see.
that you belong with me.

you might think i dont look.
but deep insideIn the corner of my mind.
im attached to you.
im weak.
its true.
cuz im afraid to know the answer.
do you want me too?.
cuz my heart keeps falling faster.

ive waited all my life.
to cross this line.
to the only thing thats true.
so i will not hide.
its time to try.
anything to be with you.
all my life ive waited.
this is true.

you dont know what you do.
everytime you walk into the room.
im afraid to move.
im weak.
its true.
im just scared to know the ending .
do you see me too?.
do you even know u met me?.

ive waited all my life to cross this line.
to the only thing thats true.
so i will not hide.
its time to try anything to be with you.
all my life ive waited.

this is true.

i know when i go ill be on my way to you.
the way thats true.

ive waited all my life to cross this line.
to the only thing thats true.
so i will not hide.
its time to try anything to be with you.
all my life ive waited.

this is true...

Ben & Jerry's @ Dempsy Hill With Mummy.

2009-03-04T23:08:00.002+08:00

Yeap Today's My Off Day ... ( Its Actually A Wednesday .. But Like My Biological Clock Is Screwed ... So Like Yeah .. Its Still Like Wenesday To Me ... )

Yes .. I Brought Mummy To Eat Ben & Jerry's @ Dempsy Hill Today =))) .. I Wanted To Bring Her There For Quite Sometime le ... And Today Since Off Day , I Brought Her There =) ..

We Alighted At Orchard Mrt And Like Walked Into Wisma To Get To The Bustop But Like I Wanted To Go Look Look See See At Flesh Imp There .. Then Like .. Look Look See See Became Look Look Buy Buy ...

And ..

Yeap .. VIP ~ ... hahahaha .. Like The Background Is My New Shirt ..

We Then Made Our Way To Dempsy Rd And Like Walked Over To Ben & Jerry's For Icey Cream ...

Super Like This Pic Sia .. Like Those DSLR Kinda Pic Sia ... sHaQ Pro Photographer !! ... Hahahahaha ... Thank You Thank You ~ ...

Ben & Jerry's !! =D

We Had Mix 'N' Match .. With Whipped Cream And Peanut Butter Puffs ... Sibei Shiok Ar !! ...

MOOOOOOOO ~

Me & The Second Most Beautiful Lady In The Entire World .. Mummie =)) ... Love You Mummie..

Had A Chat With Mummie While We Were Having Icey Cream And Like Kinda Found Out A Few Things That I Wish I Didn't Cuz Now I Feel Like I Juz Wanna Die As Soon As Possible ... But Like I Know That I Can't Be So Selfish ..

Like Wanna Cry When I Heard What She Had To Say Sia ... WHY ~ ... I Hope That She Can See Mummie Before It All Happens ... Cuz I Want For Mummie To See The Love Of My Life ...

Like Kinda Sad Today .. Even With All The Ice Cream And Stuff ... It Seems Like Nothing Can Bring Back That Smile On My Face .. Since 27.11.08 ... Haven't Been Able To Smile With Security That It Won't Be The Last Time That I Do ...

i dun think that i've the strength to let you go.
maybe its juz me, couldn't you belive
that everything i said and did wasn't juz decieving.
and the tear in your eyesm and you calm hard face.
makes me wish that i was nv brought into this place.
and i'm here to sing about the things that mattered.
bout the things that made us feel so alive for all so long.
about the things that kept you on my side when i was wrong.

if it wasn't love that kept you by myside than what was it ? pity ? lies ? i seriously doubt that it wasn't love that we had for each other ..

The Dark Room.

2009-03-04T04:21:00.001+08:00

its like being in a dark room ..
not knowing how many doors surround me..
juz knowing that there's one door that i'm waiting for..
every single day i pray that you'll open the door ..
every single nite i cry knowing that i've one day less to spend in the light with you..
and i know that i said that i'd wait for that door to open and let me in someday..
i sometimes wished that i didn't go astray.
but i know that i wouldn't be able to know how much i need you if i didn't leave that room.
through the other doors i peeked ..
through others i went in ..
found myself running back into the dark room once again..
locking those two doors up.
you may not see a reason to open the door.
you may not think that i'll appreciate the light that comes from it.
you may not think that i'll make your life all so perfect.
you may not think that this faith is doing us any good.
you may not think that giving me a chance was a good idea.
you may not give a damn about the past we shared.
you may not think that im faithful
you may not of me at all.
but lying here in this dark room.
with this cold solitude
i ask for nothing more than another chance.

another chance to make it alrite.
another chance for you to take back your words.
another chance for me
another chance for us.

i know that you've given me more than one chance before ..
but here i am .. asking for this one last chance.

i'm sorry that after all that happen. you regret . you feel miserable. i tried .. i gave my all .. i gave until there was nothing left to give .. it wasn't enough . i guess..

maybe its juz me ..

howmuchistoomuchtogiveyou.
i'llgivemyalluntilitallrunsout.
i'llhavenoregrets
i'llgiveuntiltheresnothinglefttogive.
ihopewhenthatdaycomes.
itsthedayitakemylastbreath.
withyourhandholdingmine.

2009-03-03T02:32:00.004+08:00

Went To See Bloddy Valentines 3D Today .. How I Wished That I Was Watching With Her Sia .. But Like With Syed And Rong We Went To Watch The Movie .. Then Like Syed And Rong Went To Buy The Tickets First .. Using Rong & My IC .. Then Like I Go Buy Individually ...

Then Like The Auntie At The Counter Was Like Asking Me .. " You Watching Alone ? " .. Then I Was Like "Yeah" .. And She Was Like "Its A Scary Movie , You Sure ..? " Then I Was Like " Yeah Its Alrite .." .. " Then She Was Like Nvm Anything I Take Care Of You " ..

In My Heart I Was Like ... HOLY FUCK! This Is Scary .. Pass Me The Tickets NOW Pls ... Cuz I Dun Do Flirtations With The 30s & 40s ...

Then Like Went To Have Starbucks @ Wisma Atria .. Hahahaha .. Then Like There Was An Indian Girl At The Counter .. Wah She Slang Ar ... CANNOT TAKE IT SIA !!!!! .. Then Like We Seating Rather Near To The Cashier Sia .. Then Can Hear The Irritating Voice Sia ...

I Was Like This Close To Giving Her A Reminder That She's Indian For Pete's Sake ( Whoever The Flying Fcuk Pete Is.. ) Wah Then Was Like Playing Air Hockey On My iPhone .. Hahahaha Fun Sia ~ ... Super Addictive ..

Then Like Syed And I Was Like Making Jokes About The Indian Cashier ... She Was Like Fat Sia .. Hahahahahahaha ... Disgusting ... Then Like She Was Checking Me And Syed Out All The Time ... Bluek ~ ...

Then Like We Called Her Tumbler ... Out Of Utterly Random Reasons ... Then Was Like Laughing Till We Cried Sia ... I Was Like Doing The Indian Accent .. Hahahaha .. Funny Like Hell Sia ... I Had Java Chip By The Way =) ..

Then Like Went For The Movie After That And Like The 3D Thingy Was Kewl Sia .. Like Cyclops . But Like The Movie Wasn't That Nice Ar... Not Really Scary .. Kinda Boring Abit And Like The Movie Is Bloody But Not Gore Enough Sia .. I Was Like Eating PopCorn All The Way Sia .. Hahahahahaha I Eat Alot Sia Nowadays ... The Movie Is Kinda Twisted Abit Ar .. As In Its Difficult To Figure Out How The Story Ends .. Thats The Nice Part .. Thats All ...

Then Like Walk Walked Around At Town Abit .. And Like Went To CCK .. Was Abit Late Cuz Like Actually Promised To Be There At 10 .. But I Was There @ 10:30 .. Stood There For Like 40 Mins Till 11:15 like That ...

Kept On Telling Myself .. " She'll Be In The Next Train , I Know It " ..
And Like Faith Nv Died Off .. My Faith In Us , Unbreakable ..
Felt Like Walking Over To Her Place After That .. So I Did ..
Walking With A Limp Cuz My Feet There Behind My Shoe Near There Was Bleeding ..
But I Limped All The Way .. And Like I Was Happy That I Did ...
The Influx Of Reminisence Took Me A Million Miles Away ..
With Every Blk That I Walk Past The Memories Sweep Me Off My Feet.

As I Walked That Path Alone , My FootSteps Break The Silence .. And How I Wished I Could Hear A Second Set Of Footsteps Belonging To Her .. And Though I Didn't .. I Knew That She Was Still Right There Beside Me .. In My Heart She'll Always Be ..

Went Under Her Blk And Like Stood At The Lift Lobby .. Walked Back In The Silence ..

Got Home About 1am ...But Like Not Sleepy =( .. So Like Chatted For Abit And Like She Went Offline .. Texted For Abit .. And Like Yeah ..

Here I Am .. Like I Was Watching MTV In The Morning ... And Was Like Super Imagining Me And Her In This Music Video .. Prince & Princess ..

Why Let Fate Puppet Your Love When Faith Exist For Us To Fight For What We Believe In .. For Us To Pull Ourselves Thru .. When The Entire World Turns Their Back On You .. When You're Lost .. Faith Will Be The Clue ..

Faith Kept Me With You .. It Kept Me Waiting .. And It Always Will ... But I Hope That One Day You Will Stop Waiting For Fate To Make You Love .. For Love Wasn't Meant To Be Something Thats Controlled Or Decided By Anything Or Anyone Other Than You ..

You Know Where I Live .. You Know Where I Work .. You Know Where I'll Be ..

Take Me Away .. Take Me In Your Arms .. Piece Me Back Together .. You Know You're The Only One Who Can Do It =) ..

Take me Back To My Heaven ..

2009-03-02T02:22:00.003+08:00

Work Was Kinda Normal Today .. Like Kinda Had Time To Tok To One Of The Yes 93.3 Radio Djs Today.. Hahahaha Cuz He Was Like Emcee For The Wedding Event That I Was In-Charge Of ..Hahaha ..

Then Like Earlier On During The Day .. I Decided To Try Out Being A Florist And Like Cuz I Didn't Really Give Mummy Any Suprises For Quite Sometime Now .. And Like I Went To Make A Bouquet Of Roses For Her ..

I'm No Expert .. And Like My Hand Was Like Bleeding When I Was Holding The Flowers Sia ..

.. !! Stupid Thorns !! ..

Mummy Was Happy To See The Roses .. ( I Think She Like Did Her Small Little Dance =X ) .. Hahaha Cute Sia Mummy =) ..

Then Like Tmrw Going To Watch Bloddy Valentine .. Hahahahah .. Cool .. My First 3D Movie .. And Like Yeah ... Tmrw Off Day So Like I'll Be Where I'm Meant To Be .. At 10pm ..

Mummy Like Suddenly Toked Bout Her Today ... And Like Asked Me How Things Were .. And Like She Still Supporting Me =)) .. Love Mummy Alot Alot ! ..

2009-03-01T03:52:00.000+08:00

Yeah .. Can't Sleep =( ... Like Kinda Sad Today .. I Shouted At The Aunties At My WorkPlace .. ( Not The One That Always Nice To Me Ar .. ) But Still .. Like I Didn't Want To Sia .. But Like Needed To Get The Job Done .. And Like I Was Thinking , After Shouting At Them ..

( Someone's Mom Sia sHaQ , Could Even Be Grandma To Some Lil Kid .. Imagine Your Mom Working So Hard Juz To Feed Her Children And She Gets Shouted At All Those .. )

Super Sad Sia After This .. Until Like I Cry Ar .. ( A Tear Down My Face Sia .. ) .. Not Until Those Violent Break Down Kinda Cry ... But Still ..

I Wanna Quit Liao La ... Ya Okay The Job Is Fine Ar .. But I Dunnoe How Long More I Can Go Around Like Doing This Sia ... Heartpain Sia .. Everytime I Have To Do It ..

Why sHaQ .. Why ?! ..

Feeling Dam Dam Lousy Now Sia =(((((((((((((((((((((( ..

Juz Now Came Home At About 2am And Had My Favourite Dish From OCC ... Bread & Butter Pudding .. Its Like A Eurasian Dish Ar .. Like Pudding And Cake =)) .. Kinda Glad That The Aunties Help Me Tapau .. Then I Ate The Entire Thing Juz Now .. Eat Until Wanna Vomit Sia ..

But Enjoy Sia !!! .. Si Bei Shiok Ar .. !!!

Hahahahahahaha .. I've Been Eating Alot Since Like It Happen .. Hahahaha .. Eat Eat Eat .. And Like I Even Ate An Entire Juz Of Fruit Cocktail Sia .. But Like I Somehow Cannot Get Fat Leh .. Boring Sia ..

Finally Work Enough To Settle My Phone Bill ... 400 Dollars Fly Fly Fly Away ~ ... =((( ... But I'm Happy That I Didn't Burden Mummy & Daddy ... I Dun Care If I Work Until Die Sia .. As Long As I Dun Give Mummy Worry And I See Mummy Happy Can Le =) ..

LOVE YOU MUMMY !

So Like Yeah .. Finally I Settle Phone Bill ... Now Worry Bout Other Thing Liao .. Like Next Phone Bill And How To Save 500 In My Bank Savings Soon ... Maybe This Holidays Muz Cut Down On Shopping ..

Hate To Do It Sia .. But Sometimes .. I've Gotta Learn How To Save Money .. Cuz A Gold Ring On My Right Hand Can't Help Me .. I've To Help Myself First...

Then like I Kinda Getting Sleepy Now .. So Like Yeah .. Should Try To Sleep .. Cuz Tmrw Working Whole Day Again ...

Through it allI've made my mistakes
I stumble and fall
But I mean these words
I want you to know
With everything, I won't let this go
These words are my heart and soul
I'll hold onto this moment you know
As I'll bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

Forever & Always =] .

2009-02-28T02:56:00.002+08:00

.. sHaQ Is Dead Tired ..
.. sHaQ Is Sleepless ..
.. sHaQ Enjoyed Watching Blue's Clues ..
.. sHaQ Had Icey Cream Juz Now ..
.. sHaQ is Wounded ..
.. sHaQ Is Sick ..
.. sHaQ Is Praying That He Gets To See Her..

.. sHaQ Is Me ..

God Dam This Post Is Lame Shit .. But Like Yeah .. I Got Home Like 2 Hours Ago And Like Can't Sleep .. Save Me From These Sleepless Nites ...

why does it seem that there's something different bout your lifestyle recently ..? hope that everythings alrite ..

2009-02-27T01:57:00.000+08:00

when will i see you again?

Today Go Work Nothing Much .. But I Happy Abit Ar .. Happy That My Promise To Her Still Hold True .. I Learnt To Control My Temper More Better =)) ... Today Like Almost Got Into A Fight With Working Colleague .. Over Very Very Small Problem .. Then Like He Push Me Sia .. Hahahaha .. But I Like Nv Move .. His Face Change Sia .. Wanted To Laugh Liao La .. Then Like Blah Blah Blah .. Yeah Thats Work ..

Then Like Walking Home After Work That Time ... Got One Dog Chase Me Sia ...
!!!! WAH SIBEI SCARED SIA !!!!!

Like Its Not Those Cute Cute One Hor.. Its Like Those Kind Of MadDog ..Black Colour .. Tongue Sticking Out Kind .. Then Like He Was Like Looking At Me First .. Then I Walk Past .. The Dog Follow Behind .. I Walk Faster He Walk Fasterer .. WAH !!! .. Scared Like Girl Sia .. I Almost Scream Sia .. Hahahahahaha ..

Wanna Guess What I Was Thinking At That Point Of Time ?!
( My Isabella Or Ian How?! My Future Kids How.. Where Can Die So Young ) Yeah I Was Like Thinking Of My Future Daugter Or Son Sia .. Funny Sia ...

Then Like Luckily The Bitch Stopped .. Hahahahaha .. Then Like I Still Continued To Walk Dam Fast Till Reach Home ... Wah Heng I Nv Die Sia ... Isabella & Ian Still Got Chance =X ..

Then Like Tmrw I Working @ Vivo !!! .. Yes .. Serious .. Vivo .. Cuz Like If I Not Wrong There's Some Kind Of Convention Or Like Roadshow To Showcase Those Wedding Shits .. So Like Yeah .. Go There And Set-Up ... =))) .. First Time Sia ...

Then Hor .. My Fav .. Get To Sit On The Truck !!! .. Hahahahahahaha Weeeee .. The Wind In My Hair .. Wah Sexy Ar ... But Like My Be At Work At 9 .. Hahahahaha I Dun Mind Ar...But Like Means Hor.. I Will Only Sleep For Like 3 Hours ...

I Swear That My Biological Clock Is Screwed .. 5 Hours Of Sleep .. 12 Hours Of Work .. Rest Spend Doing Stuff On The Net .. Like Blogging .. Hahahahaha .. But Like Funny Thing Is .. I'm Tired But I'm Not Sleepy ... Hahahaha Sleepless Nites Sucks Ass !!! ...

I Feel Like Eating Icey Cream =)) .. Hahahaha .. Like I Somehow Keep On Eating Icey Cream Alot Lately Sia ... Maybe I Can Nv Stop Eating Cuz Like I Only Wanna Share Icey Cream With Her ..

Like Wanna Ask Her Out Leh .. But Like Now Kinda Late .. Perhaps Tmrw Morning .. Wah Super Scared Sia .. Its Really Like Being Back At The Beginning Sia .. Like Last Time How I Used To Like Freak Out Everytime I Pressed Her No On My Phone .. And Like Couldn't Make Myself Press 'Call' .. Hahahahah ... Dam Nervous Sia .. And Like Shy Shy ..

These Few Days Has Been Like Raining .. Alot ... And Like I Still Abit Sick Sia .. But Getting Better .. Taking Care Of Myself Sia ... Wished That She Would Take Care Of Me .. If Only She Would .. I'd Spend My Entire Life Being Sick Sia =) .. hahahahaaha =X ...

Hahahahaha .. Quack ~ ..

Wanna See You Again .. Fate Come Faster Abit Can ? .. Destiny? Is It Ours To Mould? .. Cuz I Believe That My Life Is Mine To Mould .. And Love .. Was Meant To Be Fought For ..

sHaQ Is Sleepy .. OMG !!!! .. Its 2am ... He Is Sleepy... Something Wrong .. ( I Bet The Feeling Will Go Away When I Start To Get Ready For Bed ) Hahahahahahaah CornDog..

NOT HELPING !!!! They Dun Solve My Problems !!! .. sHaQ Dun .. sHaQ Stop .. Dun Let The Reason Why You've Been Sober Be The Reason Why You Aren't Anymore ..

Love Makes People Do The Craziest Things

2009-02-26T03:29:00.010+08:00

Cuz If One Day You Wake Up And
Find That You're Missing Me
And Your Heart Starts To Wonder Where I Could Be.
You'll See Me Waiting For You On My Every Off Day
@ CCK Mrt 10pm - 11pm

I Know It Makes No Sense, But What Else Can I Do,
How Can I Move On When I'm Still In Love With You?

You'll See Me There .. Cuz I'm Not Moving ..
I've Gotta Stand My Ground Cuz
If One Day She Changes Her Mind
This The First Place She Would Go.

If You See This Girl.. Can You Tell Her Where I Am ..

The Calls Might Be Abrupt, But It Was Still Worth The Try , Your Words May Have Been Short & Sweet .. But It Was Still More Than Worth It .. Cuz I Didn't Expect To Even Hear Your Sweet Voice Tonight.

Love Makes Peiple Do Crazy Things.

Your Prince , Your Little Star .

2009-02-24T01:02:00.003+08:00

Somehow Today .. I'm feeling Kinda Sianz And Like Was Super Worried Bout My Results When Stace Texted Me In The Morn... Wah Like Wanna Work Also Keep On Thinking Sia ..

Hahahahahaha .. Was Like Praying For Me & Her All The While Sia .. Pray Pray Pray .. And Like Yeah .. Work Was Kinda Slack Today .. Lucky Me .. =) . Then Like Got One Part Dam Funny .. I Was Like Slacking Abit At One Place .. Then Like I Saw Yellow Pages Singapore The Book .. Then Like I Flipped Thru And Went To Scout For The Pages On Florist ..

Hahahahahaha .. Smart Ppl Will Know Why ..

Then Like I Found The Page .. From Florist Warehouse To Florist .. And Like There's SoOOOo Many Sia .. (sHaQ .. By The Time You Find Her .. I Think You Like Year 3 Going Into NS Liao La ) ... Hahahahahaha .. Then Like Didn't Stop There .. I Freaking Tore The Page Out And Kept It In My Wallet !! LOL !!

Hahahaha .. Hopefully Can Find Her :) ..

Then Like Left Work At Like 5 .. Today Will Be The Only Day For The Week That I Can Leave At 5 .. Rest Of The Days I Wanna Work Till 11 Or Later .. Hahahahah .. I Fell Sick Liao =( .. Why After Come Poly Then Only Fall Sick Sia ..

I Used To Be Like Super Healthy During Secondary Sch .. Then Last Time Dam Good Boy So Everyday Go Sch De .. Guai Guai De Hor .. Mai Seng Seng Ar Le .. ( Hokkien All Come Out Sia ..)

Hahahahaha .. I Wanna Learn Hokkien .. Then Can Converse With Her Parents Someday .. ( Hopefully ) .. hahahaha .. I Learn How To Greet Only ... " Ho Bo? " Hahahahah Dam Fierce Sia Their Greeting ... I Think Her Mom Say To Me "Ho Bo?" I Cry Sia .. ROFL ! =X ..

Then Like Yeah .. Reach Home Le .. Went To Shower .. Tok Tok To Mummy .. Then Pocky Ask Me Accompany Him To Sleep .. ( Bloddy Piggy Fella He .. Hahahaha Looks Who's Toking ) .. Then Like Napped For Abit And Like Woke Up And Checked The GPA Shit ...

.. I Got 2.9 Sia .. =( .. Like I Wanted To Hit 3.0 Sia .. Then Like Shot Of O.1 Only !!!! .. C'mon Ar .. Estimate Bit Can! .. See Ar sHaQ .. Come Late Somemore Ar .. FUCKFACE!! .. Now Nv Get 3.0 ..

Wah I Dam Fierce To Myself Sia .. Hhahahaha .. Yeah .. Kinda Dissapointed That I Didnt Hit 3.0 Mark But Like Yeah .. Pass Lor .. So Okay Ar .. Year 2 Here I Come !!! .. Fcuk .. SEG .. Means Like School Of Excel Galore .. *&%*^%*^ .. ( sHaQ Use Censorship Sia =X )

Then Like Yeah .. I Dunnoe Why I Tok Until Like So High Today But Actually Like Kinda Emoing Today ...

Wanna Try To Listen To The Songs That I've Been Listening From Last Nite Till Now ?!
( You're Listening To It Now.. If You Nv Pause The Flash Player Thingy ! )

The Song .. River Flows In You .. Dam Nice Sia .. I Learning How To Play In On The Keyboard.. And Its Like Dam Tough Sia .. More Tougher That Canon In D Sia !! .. But I Know That Can Make It ... JIAYOU !! ..

Bruised & Bleeding On The Floor
Missing Your Smile , That I Used To Give My All For
Missing Your Sweet Words That Used Me Make Me Soar
Missing The Times We Used To Share .. More & More ..

Why Not One More Night Under The Stars? A Chat .. Nothing Fancy .. Juz Me & You ..

I Close My Eyes & You Are Everything I See ..

Waiting For You Call , I'm Desperate For Your Voice

take care mummy~ I LOVE YOU !! .. I will always be your little star no matter what happens and even if you feel like she has taken my heart away .. i promise you that she will nv be the kind who takes me away from you .. i will nv let you shed another tear .. never .. i'm here for a reason and right now .. the reason is you & her .. nothing else .. mummy pls dun leave.. i can't live without you ..

..your little star ..

2009-02-23T03:29:00.002+08:00

Seems Like I'm Falling Sick Or Perhaps I Already Am ..Sadded Sia .. I Wanna Work .. I Wanna Be Filthy Rich .. I Wanna Be Like Last Time .. ( when i could spend money and not think about how much i have in my pocket .. cuz i knew that always got balance de =X ..) I Want My Hybird Concession Sia .. Like Dam Stress Sia .. 10 Bucks Fly Away .. Hahahahah .. But Calculatively .. I'm Saving Money La =X . Hahahahah ..

Haahahahah .. My Piggy Bank Becoming More Heavier ~ =)) .. Like I Think That Reach 50 Bucks .. Hahahahah Weeee .. I'm Glad That I Start Saving .. And Like It Feels Great To Know That You're Nv Truly Broke ..

Like Next Week Will Be Utterly Hectic .. Boss Was Like Planning My Rooster Today .. And He Couldn't Even Find A Day For Me To Take Off .. Hahahahaha .. He Plan Me Work 7 Days A Week Sia ~ .. Hahahaha ..

But Like He Had To Give Off .. So Like Yeah .. Wed Off .. Going To The Movies With Syed & Rong .. =)) .. Hope That I Dun Fall Sick Sia ..

Muz Start Taking Meds Now .. Dun Want Later I Gone Case Then Start Taking .. Hahahaha ..

sHaQ Wants Some Stuff Before He Goes Back To Sch ~

Ralph Lauren Polo ( White With Gold Pony :D )
New BackPack Perhaps ( NUM White Gold )
Perhaps Something From Volta ( Shirt Or Shoe )
More Fit Body .. ( With The Help Of Weight Gainer & Whey Protien From GNC )
Re-Highlight My HairWhite Acoustic Guitar ( Pehaps Get One Customized )
Learn To Play Wait For You - Elliot Yamin On Piano ( Kiss The Rain Too Difficult Sia .. )
Have At Least 500 In His Saving Acc.Mousey ( Maybe Razer One )
Fold The Clothes In My Cuboard .. ( You Should See The Pile Hahaha .. =X ..)
Not Get Drunk Or F'in High Bring
Mummy Go Eat Ben & Jerry's @ Dempsey Hill
Spend Time With Her @ Marina Barage

Hahahahaha .. That Should Be All .. Alot Rite?! .. Dunnoe If I Can Make It .. But I'll Try To Do All Before April 20th .. JIAYOU sHaQ sHaQ ~~ ..

Who Am I Without You? Nothing More Than No One .
You Made Me All That I Was Meant To Be .
You Saw The Good In Me, When I Couldn’t See.
When I Needed You , There You Were , You Didn’t Flee.
I’m Nothing Now That I’m Here Without You Baby.

Do You Cry Yourself To Sleep Wishing To Hear My Voice EveryNite?
Do You Hold On To Twinkle Juz To Feel Safe , Juz Like How I Hold On To Pocky?
Do You Miss How I Used To Kiss You On Your Forehead When The Nites Were Cold And Tears Rolled Down Your Cheeks?
Do You Remember How I Used To Try To Wish You Goodnite?
Do You Listen To The Songs That I Dedicated To You?
Do You Use The Clothes That I Buy For You, And Think Of Me ?
Do You See Me & You When Ever You Watch A Movie..?
Do You Still Smell My Perfume When You’re Alone ..?
Do You Still Look Back At All The Drawings That I Drew ..?

My River Of Love , It Flows Within You . How I Wish That I Was Your Firefly. =(

Pls Come Back. I Wanna Smile Again. I Wanna Love You Like No Other. I Wanna Be All That We Were Meant To Be. I Wanna Be Yours. I Wanna Spend Countless Of Hours In Your Presence. And An Entire Lifetime Lost In Your Beautiful Eyes. Whilst I Spend An Eternity In Heaven With You.

Love You, Need You , Want You ..

2009-02-22T03:47:00.000+08:00

I Know That My Words Didn't Fall On Deaf Ears .. I Juz Can't Believe That It Was One Sided .. Can't Believe That You Didn't See Something In Me .. Cuz I Know That You Did .. I Know That You Used To Have Faith In Me .. In Us ..

The Only Reason Why I Kept On Toking And Toking Was Because I Didn't Want For That Moment To Ever End .. Where Everything's Nothing , Without You .. You Know That I'd Wait Her Forever Juz To See You Smile .. Thru It All , I Made My Mistakes , I've Stumbled And Fell . Not Once , But Many Times Before .. But You Always Picked Me Up And Got Me Back On My Feet..

I’m Here Not To Ask Of You To Get Me Back On My Feet .. But To Ask You To Give Me A Second Chance .. ( Not Really Second Liao Actually ) .. Juz Come Back I’ll Make It Better .. Better Than It Ever Was ..

But I Want You To Know .. Those Words Were My My Heart And Soul And I Meant Every Word That Was Said To You ..Cuz I'll Hold On To Those 8 Months We've Shared .. Like I Nv Held On To Anything Before .. No Matter How You Try To Make Me Fall Apart .. I'll Piece Myself Back Together .. Cuz I Know That I'll Always Be Complete .. As Long As I Love You .. As Long As I Continue Loving You .. As Long As I Dun Let Go ..

I Can't Keep Up And I Can't Back Down Cuz Its Juz You & Me .. And I Dunnoe Why I Juz Can't Keep Myself Off You ... Its Like No Matter How Much I Try To Forget You .. To ‘Move On’ I Juz Can’t Perhaps Cuz Everything You Do Is Beautiful And Everything You Do Seems Right ... And There’s No Where Else I’d Rather Be Than By Yourside ..

Juz One Chance , Juz One Breathe .. Juz InCase There's Juz One Left .. Cuz You Know .. I Love You , I Loved You All Along .. I Miss You , I Missed Been Far Away For Far Too Long .. And I Forgive You .. Cuz I've Been Away For Far Too Long ... But I'm Not Me When When I Without You ..

I Know That Things Can Be Back To The Way It Was .. Perhaps Better .. Baby I Will Make It Better .. I Promise That I’ll Make It Better Than It Ever Was .. Maybe Its Juz Me.. But Couldn’t You Believe That Everything I Said And Did Wasn’t Juz Deceiving ...

Waiting For Your Call, I’m Desperate For Your Voice .. Cuz I Was Born To Tell You I Love You .. I Am Torn To Have Done What I Thought That I Had To .. But I’ll Make You Mine .. Fight With All My Might .. Cuz Every Breath That You Will Take When You’re Sitting Next To Me Will Bring Life Into My Deepest Hopes.

I Juz Want To Come Back Home ..
Wanna Feel Your Warmth ..
Wanna Feel Your Love , Care & Concern .

.Dun Leave Me Tonight.

2009-02-21T01:22:00.001+08:00

!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!
!! WAI YONG !!

Hope That You Can Be Less Kan Chiong Now That You're 18 .. Good Luck K Bro ..

2009-02-20T00:56:00.002+08:00

Woke Up Kinda Late Today .. Dead Tired From Last Nite MidNight Drawing Thingy .. And Like Yeah .. So I Kinda Went To Bed Like At 5 am Last Nite .. And Like Yeah ..

Woke Up At Like 2pm Sia .. Then Like Prepared And Off To Help Mummy With Groceries For Awhile Then Like I Went To Meet At Alex At West Mall ..

Tried My Luck At West Mall The Xpressflowers But Failed Again .. So Yeah .. Went To Wait For Alex And Guess Who I Saw ~ .. Mr.Birthday Boy , Wai Yong .. But He Like Super Kan Chiong Then Like Nv See Me .. Hahahahaha So Like I Met Alex At Mac At WestMall Near There ..

( Crying .. Now .. )

Then Like Yeah .. We Jiao Wei Abit .. And Like Met With The Guys At JE .. Then Took Train To Bedok .. WAH PIANG ! .. I Thought Bedok And JE Was Like 2 Stops Away Sia .. Chao Turtle .. Like 41 Mins In The Train Ar .. Can Die Sia ..

Then Like Reach Liao We Go And Like Grocery Shop Over At SingSong !! ( I Dunnoe How To Spell ) Hahahaha .. Then Like Wah Shop Also Stress Sia .. Quarrell Here And There ...But All Bro Bro Thing So Like Suak ... Then Like Took Cab To ECP And Like Was SUPER HUNGRY Sia !! ..

Then Like Try To Start The Fire And All .. Wah I Wanna Act Fierce Then Like Use Hand Break The Charcoal And Like The Thing Pierce My Hand .. Then Wash Wash .. Come Back Cook Somemore ..

Wah Eat Until Song Sia ~ Then Cook Cook Cook ... And Kang Kang Come .. Then He Helped With The Pit And Stuff .. Hahahaha Pro Sia .. Then Like ...

Waited For Quite Abit Then Like Soon Came The Gals , Stace , Eva & Siyan ..

( Super Shocked To See Her There .. Hahahahahah Heart Stop Sia .. But Like Kinda Had The Feeling That She'd Be There .. Thats Why I Brought The Thingy .. )

So Like Yeah .. Birthday Cake !! .. For Wai Yong ... But Then We Had A Hard Time Lighting The Candle And Like Managed To In The End .. Chit Chat Here And There .. BBQ Here And There ..

Then Like It Was Time .. Knew That I Had To Do It .. Had Imagine Today Being Like This From Last Nite Sia ... Okay Though It Was Exactly Like How I Imagine .. I'm Glad That I Did ...

And Like Though The Feeling Was Like Fcuk.. I Knew That She Had Worse .. She Left With The Stuff As She Was About To Leave =) ..

Hope That You Like It , Siyan =) .. I May Not Be The No.1 Hand Made Box Maker In The World But I Hope That The Box Can Tahan De .. Made With Love Very Strong One .. Dun Worry ..

Feeling Very Sucky After The Chat .. But I Know That I Had Said All That Need Be Said .. And The Rest Will Be Left To Faith .. But I've Got Nothing To Worry .. I Know That It Wouldn't Fade .. Cuz For The Past Year .. It Hasn't Faded , Not For A Day .. Not For A Second ..

Hope To See You Again Someday . Hope That You're Feeling Less Lousy =) .

Very Late Liao .. And Dam Super Sleepy ..

Faith Will Keep Me Going On No Matter How Many Stabs To Heart I Recieve .. Cuz I Know You Had Worse .. I Can Nv Compare .. I'm Sorry .. My Words Are As Sincere As Sincere Can Get .

2009-02-18T21:50:00.000+08:00

Didn't Do Much , Juz Like Did All That I Could Do For The Valentine's Present And Like Met Up With Syed To Take The iPhone USB .. Mine Spoil Sia ... Luckily He Got Extra ..

Then Like I Learning New Song On Piano , Wait For You - Elliot Yamin .. Nice Sia .. And Like Super Can Relate To The Meaning Of The Lyrics Right Now Sia ..

Tmrw Working Again After 6 Days Off Sia .. Hahahaha ..

2009-02-17T22:47:00.007+08:00

Chalet Wasn't Much Of A Blast I've Gotta Say , But It Was One Heck Of A Bonded One .. Everyone Was There For Everyone .. Drink Drank Drunk .. ( Actually More Like F'in High ) ..

We Stood By EachOther's Side ,
They Hugged , They Cried ,
They Consoled As We Unfold ,
Alongside Each Other We Stood ,
Being There For One Another As Much As We Could ,
Emotions Were Abound ,
Yet Made They Made Smiles From The Frowns ,
Though I May Have Not Been Able To Say All I Needed To Say ,
But Perhaps Thats Juz The Way .
Forever Bottled Up They Shall Be ,
The Confessions Of You & Me ..

Yours Truly , sHaQ aKa Ex Handsome BBF =) ..

2009-02-16T02:03:00.005+08:00

I'll Be Off To WTooSexy Class Chalet ... Will Be Back On Tuesday Evening ...

i'llmakeyoufeelsecureinmyarmsonceagainipromise

2009-02-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

Today Was Somewhat Less Hectic ... Didn't Really Do Much .. Woke Up At 1 .. Slept At 8am Like That ...

I Didn't Make It To The Laundry's In Time Sia.. So Like Couldn't Pick Up My Board Shorts .. To Northpoint To Like Get Toiletries For The Chalet .. Hahahaha .. Bought The Dove Beauty Moisture BodySoap =X .. And Like Yeah .. Walked Back ..

Muz Have Been The Weather But Like I Had The Mood For BubbleTea .. So I Had Mango Yogurt .. Wah Shiok But Like More Thirsty Sia ... Walk Walk Walk And Like It Was Like Evening And Like The Sun Was Setting ..

So Like I Went To Yishun Lake There ( Dunnoe What That Place Is Called ... But Its Like A Lake Is It Not ?! .. Okay La What Ever That Place Is .. Which Is Near Safra And Like The Polyclinic ..

Then Like Sat Down .. And Like So Many Thoughts Engulfed Me .. I Was Like Practically Drowning In Thoughts And Reminisences ...

Went Home After The Sun Setted .. It Was Beautiful And I Would Give All I've To Give For You To Be Right There Beside Me .. Like We Once Would Share Our Evenings Together .. As We Watch The Sun Give Way To The Moon ...

The Sun May Have Set On Our Lives But I Know That Soon We'll Witness The Sunrise That We've Been Awaiting .. For The Sun Will Nv Set On The Love We Share .. Nv Will It Set On You & Me ..

wouldiseeyouthereagain?willmytmrwsbebetter?willyoubethere?
missyou princess

Valentine's

2009-02-14T00:00:00.000+08:00

Hahahahah .. Here's To The Day When The Small Cubby Baby Flies Around Shooting Arrows At People's Asses Making Them Fall In Love .. Maybe Thats Why People Say Love Hurts ..

Doesn't The Arrow Hurt ?! .. But Doesn't Love Heal The Pain =)) ..

Okay .. Today Was Like Wow Hectic To The Power To Mampat Sia .. Got Up Kinda Late Cuz I Was Like Up Doing The Valentine's Gift Till Like 2 ..

And Like Yeah .. So Like Mummy's Call Woke Me Up .. I Mean Like PhoneCall The Call .. And Like They Wanted To Like Go Out For Like Brunch .. So Like Yeah .. Daddy Rented A Car For Some Apparent Reason That I'm Unsure Of .. And Like We Went To Woodlands There...

I Swear I Dunnoe Where We Were Even If We Were At Woodlands Sia ... Like Some Ulu Pandan Road Sia .. In The Middle Of Like Bunglows And Stuff .. And Like Yeah Go Kopitiam ...Hahahaha .. Then Like Daddy Ask Me Order Something ...

So Like I Happily Went To Like Walk Walk Around And Check Out The Menu .. Then Like Something Caught My Eye ... CHEESE DINOSAUR !!!! ... Hahahaha .. I Was Like .. WOW ! .. Thats Fierce .. Hmmm .. Can Ar .. Steady .. Then Like Ask Daddy Order ..

( I Didn't Know What It Was .. I Swear That I've Nv Seen Such A Thing On The Menu Of Kopitiam Shop Before Sia .. So Like Yeah .. All For The Sake Of Knowing What It Is And Like How A Cheesy Dinosaur Would Taste Like .. I Ask Daddy To Order .. )

He Was Like .. What's That .. Then I Was Like How Would I Know .. Seems Kewl Though .. Hahahaha .. Then Like Daddy Ordered One .. Then Like When Daddy Walked Away I Told The Guy That He Wanted 2 .. =X .. Hahahahahaha Dam Joke Sia ...

Anyone Wanna Try Guessing What A Cheesy Dinosaur Is ?! .. Well Its A Roti Prata With Bucketloads Of Cheese In It... I Mean BUCKETLOADS Sia... Even PizzaHut The Pizza Dun Have That Much Cheese Sia ... Then Like Wah Shiok Ar... ENJOY !!!! ...

DAM SHIOK SIA ~

Then Like Daddy Drove Me Back Home Cuz Like I Had To Rush Of To See If Love Will Light The Way To Her ... =) .. Really Hope That It Did ...

And Like Yeah .. Went To Search At WestMall .. Cuz Like That Day At AMK Hub There Was Xpress Flowers And Like I Asked The Staff Where The Nearest Florist Would Be If I Was Staying At CCK .. And Like They Said WestMall .. So Like Yeah ... Off To WestMall I Went ...

Ever So Confidently Yet Filled With Doubts Too .. Hahahaha .. So Like Yeah ... Made It To WestMall And Like Couldn't Find The Florist At First Then Like Went Over To The Information Counter And Like They Said That It Was At The Basement ..

Went Down .. I Swear That My Heart Was Like WAH LAO EH !!!! When I Walked Over To The Shop .. 2 Reasons .. Reason No.1 .. I Super Nervous .. Reason No.2 .. What If She Not There?! ..

Hahahahaha .. And Yes , She Wasn't There =(((( ... So Like .. I Stood Infront Of The Shop For Like 5 Mins .. ( I Dunnoe If The Staff Thought That I Was Like Mentally Retarded Or What Sia .. ) But Like Heck Care .. As Long As I See Her Smile & Hear Her Voice , I'm Contented =) ..

So Like Yeah .. No Her .. Then Like I Asked The Staff There And Like She Said That She Didn't Know If There Was Such A Staff .. Well Don't Know Is Better Than No ..Rite?! ..

Then Like Looked To My Right And Like Sweettalk ..( Coincidence ?! Or Not ?! ) Hmmm .. I Thought For Like Dam Long And Like I Even Checked The Menu And Like Find For Pearl Milk Tea .. There Wasn't Any But Like I Figured Out That Milk Tea With Pearl = Pearl Milk Tea ..

So Like Yeah .. I Was Like ... GOT CHANCE !!! .. WOOOOOO .. Kinda Happy + Utter Dissapointment Blended Together ...Walked Outta Westmall And Like Before I Got To The MRT Station .. I Felt Something That I Have Yet To Feel For Like Weeks..

Heartwrenching Disappointment =(( ..

And Like Yeah .. Made My Way Back To Yishun And Like Rushed Home ... Showered .. Did My Hair .. Again ~ .. And Like Yeah .. Out I Go Once Again .. Hahahahaha Hectic Hor ...

Then Like I Was Supposed To Meet Ang Cheok At Like 5:15 , Alex, Sammy & Me Would Be Going To Sammy's Church For A Service .. I Was Abit Late But I Was Handsome , So Okay Ar .. Worth It Right ? .. Hahahahaha Luckily I Managed To Get The Roses Sia .. 10 Roses For 28 Bucks !!! .. OMG Ar .. Wah Lao Eh !!! .. Chicken McNugget Sia ...

Then Like Yeah .. Got There And Like First Thing I Heard When I Removed My Earpiece Was Like ... " Told You Right , He Handsome .. " Wah FUCKING FUCKING High Sia .. Like My Balls In The Sky Sia ... Then Like Sammy's Friend Was Like Yeah ... Wah Lagi High Sia ... We Then Made Our Way To Sammy's Church And Like The Service Was Great .. I Had A Great Time ...

The Verses That The Pastor Had Read Out Really Made Alot Of Sense .. I Swear I Was Like So Into The It .. It Hit Me Sia .. Totally Sia .. WOW ~ .. Soon Enough , It Was Over And Like .. I Found A Long Lost Friend .. Isabella ( I'm Gonna Name My Daugther Isabella ) .. Hahahahah Yeah .. I Was Super Shocked To Like See Her Sia .. She's Like My Pri 5 & 6 Classmate Sia ...

Then Like Yeah .. Caught Up Abit And Like Left Soon After ...

Needed To Get To Marina Barage ( Yes, Eva .. Barage Is Spelt With A 'Ba' Not 'Be' ) Hahahahahahahaha =X .. Then Like Half Way Through They Were Like At The Flyer.. Or At Least I Thought They Were ...

And Like We Stopped At Raffles Place And Like Tried Walking Over To Esplanade .. And Like Yeah .. Used My iPhone And Like GPS-ed Our Way There ...Hahahahah ...

LONG WALK SIA .. Finnally Made It There And Like Stace, Werty , Eva & Singing Wasn't There ... Hahahaha .. So Like We Had To Wait Abit And Like So We Chatted For Awhile And Like When They Arrived .. We Got Down On Our Knees And The Three Gals Recieved Roses =) ..Hahahahahah ...

We Then Like Spent Quite Sometime Deciding Where To Eat , Cuz Like Popeye's Was Kinda Jam Packed ..

So Like We Went To Yoshinoya .. It Was My First Time There .. And I'll Gladly Say That It Officially My Last! ... I Love Jap Food But Like Woah .. That Was Some Kind Of Shity Jap Food Man .. Bo Pian Eat The Food And Like Yeah ...

We Made Our Way To Stace's For Like More Chit Chat , Alcohol & Poker ... Hahahaha Yeap .. Loads Of Bullshit Happen Sia .. Had Icey Cream =)) .. Stace's Mummy Gave Us ...Hahahaha .. POWER~ ..

Then Like Started To Like Play BlackJack And Like Yeah =)) .. Power Sia ..Cuz Like We Nv Play Money , We Played Booze ! .. HARDCORE Shit Sia .. Then Like Stace, Alex, Sammy & Me Drank Alot Sia ...

Drink Drank Drunk Whilst We Blackjacked .. And Like Shiok Sia .. Tequila , Vodka Peace & Pure .. With Coke & Redbull Mixer =)) ... Sammy Got Really High Sia .. Kept On Bottom's Uping With Me And Stace .. Then Like He Drank Alot Ar ..

I Took A Vid Of It ... Hahahahah .. I Laughed My Ass Of Sia ... And Like I Realised That I Sound Rather Chinese-y .. Hahahaha My Voice ... And Like Yeah ... They Rest Was Okay .. No One Was Like Really Really High ..

Made A Promise Bout Half A Year Back .. To Lose All My Dirty Habits .. And So I Controlled Myself .. ( ahahahahaha .. Yeah .. Seriously That Was Controlling .. ) .. So Like Bit High Only ..

Then Like Soon .. Stopped Drinking ... Sammy Went To Sleep At The Sofa And So Did Stace ..The Rest Stayed Up To Chit Chat The Entire Nite Away ... And Like Wanted To Doze Off For Abit But Like Couldn't Sia .. I Think Cuz Pocky Not There For Me To Hug ....

So Like Listened To Music And Like Doodled On My iPhone .. Hahahaha .. Eva , Singing & Stace Saw The Valentine's Gift .. Cuz Like I Took Pic Of It ..

( Ouh Yeah .. If You Were Wondering .. I Didn't Get To Pass It To Her And Like I Went To Keep It At Home Before Heading Out For Church ..)

Then Like Yeah ... Waited For The Like First Train Timing And Like The First Bus Timing That Departs From The Busstop Near Stace's Place .. Then Like Went Out At About 6 Plus Like That ...

WAH DAM SHACK Sia ... Then Like Trained Home ... Fell In And Outta Sleep On The Way Home ...

Got Home And Like Totally Knocked Out .. Pocky Accompanied Me To Lalaland =)) ...

2009-02-13T11:58:00.000+08:00

.. The Eve Of Valentine's ..

Amazingly Enough I Had Quite A Deal Of Stuff To Get Done .. Hahaha =)) .. Yeap .. I Did ... And Like I Got A Haircut In The Morn And Like Made My Way To AMK Hub To Get Something ..And Like Went Home To Get It Done .. Glad That I Had Completed It By Today ..

Tmrw's Valentine .. Gonna Try My Luck .. Dunnoe How It Will Turn Out .. But I Hope That I Get To See Her .. But I Know That Having Expectations Would Hurt Me Like Hell...

So I've To Put All Expectations Aside And Hope That Love Lights The Way There .. C'mon sHaQ .. You Can Figure This Out .. You're Not That Dumb .. You Juz Look Like a Jock .. And Like Maybe Pam Thinks I Am One .. But Like I Am NOT !! ..

Hahahahaha .. I Like What I Did For Her Sia .. It Seems Like Sweet And Like Somewhat Fairytale-ish ..

** ALL THE BEST TO ME **
*Pray To God *

Baking At Stace's

2009-02-12T23:10:00.003+08:00

Went To Work At And Like Left At 5 .. Hahahahaha I Swear I'm SOoooOOOoOOO .. Happy That Its 5om Sia ... Like I Take Off For The Next 6 Days =)) ... Muahahahahaha ...

Then Like I Rushed Home And Like Showered And Prepared To Meet Up With The Guys ... Werty , Alex , Sammy .. We Like Met Up Like About 7 At Clementi Mrt .. I Think Its Like My First Time There Sia ... Hhahahahaha .. COOOooOOoL .. Then We Went Down To Stace's Place .. And Like We Kinda Didn't Know Where Her Hse Was At First So Like Called Her Down To Fetch Us Then Like .. Somehow .. ( Dunnoe How .. But SOMEHOW !! .. ) Sammy Rmbed The Way To Stace's .. Then Like We Walked There ...

Met Us With The Gals And Like We Went For Dinner Cuz Like All Was Like SUPER HUNGRY sia .. Stomachs Were Like Kru Kru Kruing ... Hahahaha .. Then Like We Walked Around Abit And Decided To Have Zhi Cha ( I'm Guessing This Is How It Spelt .. Dun Ask Me To Pronouce Cuz I Swear You'll Die Laughing ... ) Then Like We Ordered Couple Of Dishes ... And Guess What .. I Ordered Sweet & Sour Pork !!! .... Hahahahahaah ROFL !!!! ...

So Like We Had .. Osyter Omelette , Sambal Kangkong , Hotplate Tofu , Sweet & Sour Pork , Cereal Chicken , And Hokkien Mee ...

I Abit STM .. So I Might Have Like Forgotten One Or Two Dishes .. Hahahahah ... It Was My First Time Having Cereal Chicken Sia ... Its Always Been Like Cereal Prawns .. Hahaha .. Then Like Wah Shiok Sia The Spread .. All Except For The Osyter Omelette .. It Didn't Have The Flour To Give It The Starchy Thing To It .. Then Like Crap Sia The Taste .. So Like We Changed The Dish .. And Like Took Fish Instead .. Hahahahaah ... SOOOO Much Better Sia ...

Chiak Chiak Chiak =)) .. Then Like .. Funny Sia ... I Ate Quite Alot But Like I Somehow Wasn't Full .. Seriously .. Funny Sia Like Something Wrong Sia ... I Would Like Usually Be Full By Then But Like I Amazingly Enough Wasn't .. Then Like I Kept On Eating Lor =X ...

Hahahahaha .. Eat ALOT !! .. I Mean ALOT UNTIL CANNOT !!! ... Like I Kept On Eating And Like Even After They Finished Paying The Bill I Was Like Still Eating =X .. hahahaha ... Really One Big Big Piggy Monster Sia ...

Guess How Much Each Of Us Paid For It ?! .. 9 Bucks Like That Only Ar !!! .. Power Rite .. Dam Cheap Sia .. Total Was Like 58 Bucks ... OMG !!! .. Like They Power Sia !!! .. What A Steal ..

We Then Made Our Way To Cold Storage To Get Ingredients For Stace's Valentine's Suprise Thingy .. And Like Kinda Wanted To Buy All The Ingredients But Like We Realised That They Already Had Pre-made Ones .. Hahahaha And Like It Was Like More Cheaper Too .. So Like Why Not Sia ..?! .. Bought That And Left For Stace's ..

We Guys Went To Play BlackJack .. Hahahahaha Dam Power Sia ... Like I Lost Quite Abit At First But Then Like In The End I Won Like 7 Bucks In Total Sia .. POWER ~ ... Hahahahah .. We Like Played For Quite Abit Till 11 Plus And Like Left For Home ...

Made It For The Last Train Back ... Phew ~ ..

Got Back Like 12 Plus And Like Lalaland Here I Come =)) ..

2009-02-11T01:47:00.000+08:00

Aku Rindu Senyumanmu . Aku Hanya Mahu Bersamamu .. Ampunkanku.

masih disini menantimu..
berharap kau akan mimikirkanku..
masih disini menunggumu..
menanti jawaban atas cintaku..

masih disini menantimu..
berharap cinta kita kan bersatu..
menanti dirimu kembali..
untuk ku..

2009-02-10T23:29:00.002+08:00

Went Out With Syed & Rong Today , To The Movies To Catch Underworld The Something Of The Lycans .. Hahahahaha .. Great Movie .. Graphics Bit Lacking But Overall Storyline Is Great .. And Like HardCore Fights .. Nice !!! ..

Hahahahahaha .. I Was Imagining Me & Her Like All Throughout The Movie Sia .. Then Like Half Way Thru I Was Like .. sHaQ .. You Really Very Imaginative Hor .. ( Wonder If She Does The Same .. )

Then Like After Movie Was Like Super Action Packed Sia .. I Was Like OMG Rong .. Where My Shades .. Then Like It Wasnt Hanging At My Collar.. Then Like FUCK !!! ... Hahahahaha.. I Ran Outta The Back Door .. Then Like Manager Wanted To Stop Me .. ( Cuz Cannot ) .. then Like I Slammed The Door Open.. And Like Ran Down ..

Hahahahahaah From Cine .. Lvl 6 To BurgerKing .. ( Where We Had Lunch Before The Movies. )Hahahaah .. Like Drama Series Sia .. One Handsome Guy Running Down Like He Got Something So Impt .. Hahahahaha .. then Hor .. I Realised That The Shades Was In the Plastic Bag That I Was Carrying .. Hahahahahaha .. PHEW .. Dam Relieved Sia .. Then Like Called Syed ...

He Was Still At Lvl 5 .. ( Can Imagine How Fast I Was .. Yeah Guys .. I'm A Pro A Pretending to Be A Ninja =X ) Hahahahahah shako-san .. Haik! ..

Then Like Come Down All Happy Le =) .. Nv Lose My 320 Dollar Shades .. Lalalalalala ...Then Like Chao-ed After That .. Went Home ..

Couldn't Stop Thinking Bout Her . My Heart Couldn't Stop Feeling Hurt Knowing That I've Brought Upon Her More Pain And Hurt That I've Ever Felt ... Its Like I Had Her Whipped Over And Over Again .. And She Juz Coulnd't Take It .. No More Pain She Could Take .. No More Tears She Could Cry ..

It Took Me So Long To Figure Out .. And Now I Wanna Run Back To Resque You .. Stace Knows How I Wanna Take Weight Gainer And Whey Protien To That I Can Grow Big To Protect You..

I Was Like " Daddie .. I Wanna Eat More Then Take Weight Gainer To That I Can Become Big Big And Strong .. Then Can Protect Her ^^ .." Hahahahaha ...

I Wanna Make You Smile Again ..
I Wanna Make You Feel Secure ..
I Wanna Make You Feel So Beautiful , Cuz You Are ..

I Wanna Make You Mine

2009-02-09T23:01:00.003+08:00

" Stay Close , Don't Go By Secondhand Serenade "

I'm staring at the glass in front of me,Is it half empty?
Have I ruined all you've given me?
I know I've been selfish,
I know I've been foolish,
But look through that and you will see,
That I'll do better.I know,
baby I can do better.

If you leave me tonight,
I'll wake up alone,
Don't tell me I will make it on my own.
Don't leave me tonight,
This heart of stone will sink 'til it dies,
If you leave me tonight.

Sometimes I stare at you while you are sleeping,
I listen to your breathing,
Amazed how I somehow managed to,
Sweep you off of your feet girl,
Your perfect little feet girl,
I took for granted what you do,
But I'll do better.
I know, baby I can do better.

If you leave me tonight,
I'll wake up alone,Don't tell me I will make it on my own.
Don't leave me tonight,
This heart of stone will sink 'til it dies,
If you leave me tonight.

And don't you know,My heart is pumping,
Oh, it's putting up the fight.
And I've got this feeling,
That everything's alright.

Don't you see?
I'm not the only one for you,
But you're the only one for me.
If you leave me tonight,
I'll wake up alone.

If you leave me tonight,
I'll wake up alone,
Don't tell me I will make it on my own.
Don't leave me tonight,
This heart of stone will sink 'til it dies,
If you leave me tonight.
Don't leave me tonight.

..i was borned to tell you i love you..
..maybe its me ,but couldn't you see that i wasn't decieving..
..miss your sweet voice..
..miss your smile..

..miss getting lost in your eyes..

..miss the warmth you bring to my heart..

..miss feeling that everything's perfect..

..miss having you lean on my back..

..miss having you by myside..

..princess, let me soak in your angelic presence once again pls , spare me a day .. there's nothing more that i wish for .. than to see your smile ..

.. i love you still ..

2009-02-08T00:51:00.000+08:00

Things girls don't realize....

1. Guys are more emotional than you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer than you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.

2. Guys may be flirting around all day, but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

4. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

5. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

6. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

7. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

8. Guys don't care how gorgeous you are, if you're a bitch Goodbye.

9. Giving a guy a hanging message like 'You know what?!..uh...nevermind..' would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

10. Girls are guys' weaknesses.

11. Guys are very open about themselves.

12. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

13. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

14. Guys love you more than you love them.

15. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole hell of a lot.

16. No matter how much guys talk about butts and boobs, personality is key.

17. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

18. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

19. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

20. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

21. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

22. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, 'Please come and listen to me.'

23. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

24. When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.

25. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

26. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

27. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

28. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

29. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

30. A guy would give his right nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

31. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

32. Not all guys are jerks. Just because ONE is a jackass doesn't mean he represents ALL of them.

33. They love it when girls talk about their boobs. haha it's true..

34. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually

35. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs.

36. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts.

37. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.

38. Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you he probably still does and if he had one wish it would be you to come back into his life.

S**** .. Emphasis On No. 38,37,24,14,7,1,2,3 ... Okay .. Practically Emphasis On Every Single Thing k ...

2009-02-07T21:44:00.002+08:00

Today I Learnt How To Play Canon On Piano =) .. Hahahahaha .. I Made Another Strikeout On My Wishlist ...

Hahahahaha .. So Proud Of Myself ... I Made A Promise To You Now Didn't I .. Hahahaha I Made It.. As Promised , I'm Gonna Serenade You Someday .. You'll Be The First To Hear It ..

Miss Your Smile ..
Miss Feeling Complete ..
Miss Your Voice ..

Pls.

2009-02-06T23:25:00.002+08:00

i was bored at work so like used my iPhone to doddle the comic strip out ..like it hurts like hell ar wha lao .. smart me trying to slide down the stairs .. i fell like more than half a level up sia .. my head hit the fan .. wah dam pain sia .. but it was fun while it lasted ..

it hurts like fuck grace .. if it puts a smile on your face to see me like this .. then i guess that i'll take it .. thanksforthevenom..

2009-02-06T01:44:00.003+08:00

I've Hurt The Only One Who I Gave My All To Protect .. Made The Only One Who's Smile Meant The World To Me Frown .. Brought Tears To Her Beautiful Face ..

sHaQ What Have You Moulded Yourself Into .. A FUCKING DISGRACE ! ... You've Done Everything You Fought Against ... From The Knight In Shiny Armor To The Villian Who Brings Havok ..

I Know That I've Sinned .. And I Know That Right Now .. You May Find No Place For Me .. You Find It So Hard To See My Stupid Face .. ( Handsome But Stupid Face ) .... But There's Nothing More That I Want Now Than To See Your Beautiful Smile Once Again ..

You Know That .. You Know That Nothing Has Changed .. The Only Thing That Has Changed It How Much I Love You .. Cuz It Grows Everysingle Second ... Nv Will It Stop Growing .. Till My Last Breath ...

I Will Give My All .. You Know Me .. I Will Fight And Fight And Fight .. I Was Borned A Fighter .. A Fighter Of What I Believe In .. A Fighter Of Dreams ... I Fought Your Fears .. I Dried Your Tears .. I Held Your Hands Throughout These Years ...

I Know That I May Be Good With My Words.. It May Seem Like Sweet Talk ... But Know This .. My Words Are Sweet Only Because There Was Nothing Bitter Bout The Past That We Shared ..Even The Most Downside Of Moments Had Their Fairshare Of Joys That Would Veil The Hurt And Sorrow...

When I Was With You .. Tmrw's Always Was The Better Day .. Cuz I Believed In Your Words .. I Trusted That We'd Make It Better ...

What I've Done May Have Shattered The Trust That We Have .. Its Like Ashes Now .. But I'll Piece Back Every Single Piece Even If It Takes Me Forever .. I'll Fight For What We've Shared .. Cuz It Wasn't Meant To Be Like This ... I Know That God Had Guided Me Back To This Path For A Reason ..

That Reason Is You ... Always Have Been .. Always Will Be ...

For The Sake Our Love ,Baby Give Me One More Try .. I'll Not Let You Fall . I Promise .

Birthday Wish Granted

2009-02-05T01:07:00.004+08:00

Well Here Goes Nothing ...

I'm Back At A Point In My Life Where I've Choosen To Follow My Heart And I'm Praying To God That I'll Nv Be Led Astray .. I Wish Not To Lie To My Heart Anymore ..

I Wish Not To Lie To You And Tell You That I Can Live A Life Without You .. I Mean Like Perhaps Some Of You Guys Will Not Understand Me .. Understand Why I'm Still Where I Was 10 Months Back .. But Honestly Guys .. There's No Where Else I'd Rather Be ...

Its The Feeling You Get When You're At Home .. You Know That This Is Where You Should Be .. This Is Where You Belong ...And Now That I'm Here Once Again .. I Know I'm Home ...

Siyan I Know That You Might Think That You've Heard This Before And Yes , Perhaps You Did ... But Siyan .. Rmb When You Decided To Give Me That Chance ... You Told Me That You Know Not Of How Long It Will Be .. But You Told Me That I Could Wait If I Wanted To...

Rmb What I Told You Siyan ... ? I Said That I'd Wait Forever .. I Say That I Didn't Care About Anything .. I'll Wait .. And Wait And Continue Waiting ... And I Promised To Be There For You No Matter What ... I Know That Throughout These Past 10 Months I've Gone Astray A Couple Of Times .. I'm Sorry ... I Knew That It Was Wrong ... And I'm Truly Sorry About It .. Wished That It Nv Happened ..

But One Way Or Another , You'd Always See Me Running Back To You .. Its Cuz My Heart Was Missing Home .. I Was Missing The Place Where I Should Be , Where I See My Heaven In Your Eyes .. Where Your Beautiful Eyes Meets The Sunrise .. Where Gloomy Days Gives Way To Clear Blue Skies ...

Siyan .. Here I Am .. 10 months From The Day We Met .. Still In Love With You As I Was That Day I Msged You When I Was Drunk on 060608 .. Still There For You Like I Was Everyday After That .. Still With The Oath To Make You Smile Till My Last Breath ..

I'm Sorry For The Times I Went Astray ..
I'm Sorry For The Times I Made You Cry ...
I'm Sorry For Things That I Didn't Say ..
I'm Sorry For Not Understanding Your Pain..
I'm Sorry For Thinking That I Could Ever Love Another ..

I'll Nv Let You Go .. Nv .. Promise ..
Princess .. I Miss You .. Forgive Me ..
I've Had My Fair Share Of Sins ..
I'm Sorry ..

P.S. .. I Made A Wish On My Birthday , It Was For God To Guide My Heart Back To Where It Belongs .. i wanna thank the lord for putting my heart back to where it should be .. i will pray every single day tht it remains there .. forever and always ...I Love You ...

2009-02-04T23:49:00.005+08:00

Went Out With Syed & Rong Today .. Went To Bugis .. Wanted To Go Town But Someone ~ .. Not Gonna Say Who That Someone Is .. But Someone Wanted Go Bugis ..

So Like Yeah Went There And Like Fucking Funny Ar .. I And Rong Was Like Browsing At The CD Shop And Like We Happily Walked Behind The Cashier !!! .. Wah .. Then The Guy Was Like " Excuse Me .. Cashier " Wah We Laugh And Laugh And Laughed ... Wah Siao .. Funny Sia .. We Can Like Walk In Half Way And Like So Chill Ar .. Hahahahaha Then Kanna Scold .. Hahahaha ..

Then Like Not Enough .. When Syed Came .. We Fooled Him To Doing The Same ~ .. Hahahaha He Went To Do It Too Ar .. Wah Laughed More Sia .. Dam Dam Dam JOKE !!! .. Tummy Pain Sia ...

Walked Walked Around Somemore After That .. And Like Syed Wanted To Go Dhoby Gaught ( I Think I Nv Spelt It Correctly Before .. Should Be Wrong Still ... ) .. Hahahaha Carrying On ... Syed Was Like Super Wanna Go Douby Gaught And Stuff .. Then He Wanted To Walk .. Once Again Use My Phone And Direct Us .. Hahahaha .. This Time I Like Worn Out Already Ar.. Hahahaha ..

Then Like Rong Wanted To Stay At Bugis .. So Like They Scissor-Paper-Stoned It .. Funny How Such A Simple Game Can Decide The Entire Plans For A Day .. Hahahahah .. So Like We Went Over To Burger King For Lunch ! .. Weee ..

happy tomato =)

Hahahahaha .. Like We Walked Around Bugis Somemore After That And Like Juz Walked And Walked And Walked Ar ... hahahahahaha .. I Like Super Dunnoe What To Do At Bugis Ar .. Wah Lao .. Hahahahaha .. We Went Over To Arcade And Like Played Arcade Of Course ... hahahahahaha .. Then Like Play Play Play Till The Ball Hit Rong Head .. OMG ! .. Hahahah I Wanted To Laugh My Ass Off Lor .. But Then Muz Act .. So Like Sorry Sorry .. Hahahaha ... No La .. Kk then Like Headed Home And Like Walked Home While Eating Mr.Hot Fudge Sundae..

can find the terrorist at the side ..? one eye only ar .. hahahhahaha ...well thats syed me and rong =) .. the three idiots who went behind the cashier of the CD store .. =X ..

Reached Home Then Like Major KnockOut .. Like I Was Drunk Or Something .. I Totally Napped And Like My Earpiece Poke My Backside Sia .. Pain Ar ! ... But I Too Sleepy So Like Yeah .. Sleep Only .. Then Like Wake Up And Eat .. Then Like Now Here I Am ... Hahahahaha ...

Day Out With Mummy & Ray Ban Shades

2009-02-03T23:07:00.007+08:00

Its Over Now .. The End To The Beautiful Lie ... But I Know That I'll Always Live My Life Following My Heart ..

Today Went To Collect My Pay ~ .. Hahahahahah Finally Boss Come Back Then Like Collected Pay =) .. So Happy Ar Wah Lao ...

Then Like Brought Mummy To Eat Icey Cream .. She Wasn't In The Best Of Moods ... Hope That She's Feeling Better And I'm Glad That I Was There For Her .. She Didn't Have To Bottle Up Those Feelings ..

Mummy Had Mixed Berry & Fresh Banana .. I Had Strawberry N Cheese & MILO ~ ... WOoo..Hahahahaha Dam Nice Ar.. Milo Ice Cream ... Hahahahahah ...

Then Like Walk Walked Around And Saw One Very Nice Shades From Ray Ban .. Wooo .. Like Purple Tinted Lens With Black Frame ... Dam Nice Sia .. Then .. Guess What ...

I Totally Bought It Ar ... Hahahahahahahah .. So Nice Ar Then Somemore Its Like Ray Ban's New Release .. 09 collection .. Wah Power Sia ... The Look Nice .. The Price Nicer Too ... 317 Bucks ... But Like Wah .. Still Happy Sia ~ .. sHaQ Was Juz Making Himself Happy =) ...

my lovely ray ban shades with a even more lovely price tag to it =X ..

I'll Always Fight For What I Believe In ... Always Love The One That Holds My Heart In Her Hand .. Till Today .. The One That I Foolishly Hurt And Left A Scar On Her ... The One Whos Love I Fought For For About 10 Months Now .. Its Been So Long ... But EverySingle Day Has Been Nothing But A Stepping Stone ..

Thats What I Always Tell Myself ... sHaQ .. You Know What You Truly Want For Yourself .. You Know Where You Want For Your Heart To Be ... You Know Where Love Lies ... You Know Where You Wanna Be ... You Know What You Fight For ...

... You Know You've Found Love ...

I'm Sorry That Things Have Been So Hard For You These Past Weeks And I Know That A Million "I'm Sorry"s Will Not Make It Alrite .. But Siyan .. I'm Sorry .. I Know What I Did Totally Hurt You Like Hell .. And I Know Not Of Why I Became That Person Who Brought You Hurt .. But I Nv Wanna See That Person Ever Again ...

Cuz He's Everything That I Wish Not To Be ..

" One More Try By A1 "

Could be your eyes, could be your smile.
Could be the way you freed my mind.
Your precious touch caressed my soul.
You gave me everything I need, and know I'll lost.
Lost forever.

Lost forever, and you said this is going nowhere, girl.
And you said I turned my back on.
You said I'll not the only one for you.

Please give me one more try for the sake of our love
Let's give it one more chance coz I can't give you up.
I can't live one more day without you in my arms
I could never find another like you.

Could be the lies, could be my pride.
Could be the days and nights so wild.

Could be the times I wasn't there.
And all the nights we didn't share, and now you've lost.
Lost forever

Lost forever, and you said this is going nowhere, girl.
And you said I turned my back on.
You said I'll not the only one for you.

Please give me one more try for the sake of our love
Let's give it one more chance coz I can't give you up.
I can't live one more day without you in my arms
I could never find another like you.

I can't sleep, I can't live without you by my side.
So cold, so lost without as my guide.
You made me realise I've nothing, nothing without you.

Please give me one more try for the sake of our love
Let's give it one more chance coz I can't give you up.
I can't live one more day without you in my arms
I could never find another like you.

Baby give me one last try

..P.S.. I Love You .. Still ..

.. Myraid Of Thoughts & Feelings ..

2009-02-01T23:06:00.004+08:00

beenindeepdeepdeepthoughtsrecently
thingshavenotbeenasbeautifulasithoughtitwouldhavebeen
isuckassitsdegradingtohearbutyeahithinkidosuckass
cantevenbetruetosomeonenotwithherstillthere
imeantohaveyourveryowngftellyouthat
youhavenletgo
itslikegottabeendamobviousorsomethingiswear
whydoikeephurtingtheonesthatilove
timeandtimeagain
areyoufuckingdumbishaq
youreallythinkyoureanangel
thinkagainfuckfaceyouarentevenclose
perhapsinvwasitwasjuzafuckingdream
fuckingwillalwaysbeonerite?hahafuck
ikindasawthisinthehorizonon220109
butithoughtthatitwasjuzme
ithoughtthatiwasjuzthinkingtoomuch
perhapsitwasnt
nowyourehurtingandi'mfeelinglikeafuckhead
iwannabetherebut
youcantfaceme
youcantmaketimeforme
youcanmaketimeforyourbesties
butnotme
timeandtimeagainihearyousay
nottodaynottodaynottoday
howunderstandingcanibe
whenwillireachthelimit
ifyoucansolveyourproblemsonyourown
thenwhyhaveme
amijuzatrophytoyou

doyouneedme?
doyouwantme?
isthislove?
isthisobcession?
wheredowestandinthenearfuture?
doyouevenseemeinyourfuture?
canieverloveanother?
canieverescapefromthepast?
canmyhearteverhaveanother?

somebodysaveme.pls =(
wheredowedrawthosefinelines
tellmewhere

weneedtotok

2009-01-30T22:31:00.006+08:00

Well , Like I Woke Up To My Idiot Bro's Call !!!! .. SYED .. !!!! Hahahahahaha But It Was Alrite .. He Called To Tell Me About The JAE Crapshit ... He Got Into Ngee Ann Poly Sia .. WHY SO FAR ?! .. Like Wanna Visit Also So Far ... Hhahahahahah .. He Was Like So Super Excited Ar... 7am Call Me ...

Like I'd Ever Wake Up That Early ... Not Even If Got Bomb Drop On Singapore Will I Get Up That Early Sia .. Hahahahahaha ..

Like Then Woke Up .. And Like Met Up With Him Cuz Like He Wanted To Get His Tee Altered Something Like That ... So Like Yeah .. Went Down And Like Got Those Thingys Done ..

Then Hor ... Like We Went To Get My Card Changed ... Hahahahahahaha... NETS .. And Like I Got The Debit Card ... And Like Wanna Ask Daddy Help Me Get American Express Sia .. Woooo...

Hahahahahahaha .. Suddenly So Obcessed With Cards ... Hahahahahah .. Its A Guy Thing I Guess .. Sorry To Those 17 year old kids ... Hahahahahahahahahahahah .. You'll Get Here Someday .. Hahahahahahaha ...

Then Like .. We Went To Do Stupid Thing... I Tried To Trade-In My iPhone .. Guess How Much ?!!! ... 300 FUCKING BUCKS !!! .. YOUR MOTHER AR 300 BUCKS !!!! .. Dam Degrading Feeling Sia ... * Sayang Sayang iPhone * ... PCB ! ...

Hahahahahaha .. Then Like Hanis Call Me To Gay With Her ... Today .. There's A Gay Thing Going Along .. And Definately I'd Be Called Up ... Hahahahahah .. CHING GAY ...

So Like Yeah .. I Passed On That Cuz ...... I Wanted To Go Home And Nap ~ ... Muahahahahahahahaha .. Still Your Prince Of Lalaland ... =) ... Hahahahah .. Woke Up And Like Had Burger King .. ( Lalaland Royal Dinner .. Cuz Got The Word 'King' =X )

My New Fwendie .. Tomato Jingliepee ..

Hahahahahahaha .. I Dunnoe Why I Sekali Like So Into This Word " Jingliepee " .. Hahahahaha ... Try It ..!! .. Say ..!! Jingle-y-pee .. Hahahahahahahaha ...

Then Like I Playing Crazy Taxi Alot Recently ... Perhaps I'm Practising For License ... Hahahaha .. Beware Guys .. Hahahahah ..

Like I Felt Like Having Icey Cream ... But With A Twist ... With Gummies ~ ... OMG ! .. Lalalalalalalala ... Pocky Was There To Share With Me ...

ME LOVE GUMMIES & ICEY CREAM
BEARY NICE SIA !!! HO MY GOD !!! ...

So Like Yeah ... Tmrw Will Be A Long Day ... Abit Rushy .. But Like Has To Be That Way I Guess ... sHaQ You Need To Work .. FUCK FACE ! ... Go ! ... Hahahahahahahah ... Haven Work For Two Weeks Already Sia .. Dunnoe If Still Can Throw Tables And Chairs .. Should Be Can Ar .. I Think It Comes Naturally .. Hahahahah ...

Not Broke Anymore Weeeee ... Thank God =) ... I Didn't Dig Into My Savings .. sHaQ Dun Touch That !! ... Hahahahaha ...

2009-01-28T22:40:00.006+08:00

Ar .. Hiee ... Hahahhahahah .. Random Start .. I'm 18 Sia .. Doesn't Feel Any Different Than 17 .. But I Think That I Can Do More Now ... In Terms Of Legalitiy Issues In Singapore ...

Hahahahahah .. I Manage To Make Quite Alot Of Progress On Canon Today =)) .. Super Happy Bout It .. Seriously .. Hahahahah .. Didn't Really Do Much Today .. Accompanied Mummy For Grocery Shopping .. Need To Help Her Carry Stuff .. And Like She Bought For Me A Slice Of Cake And YoGurt .. So Sweet Of Her Ar ... I LOVE YOU MUMMY ~ ..

Then Like We Came Home And Had Cake & Yogurt For Lunch =) .. Hahahahahahah Enjoyed ... Played More Piano After That As Mummy Sat Beside To Listen To Me Play .. She Likes The Song Canon ... Funny How She And Her Are So Much Alike =) ...

Your Little Caveman Friend ( I Mean Cave As In Home = Cave .. ) Hahahahah Dun Take It Literally .. Caveman Dun Have iPhones =X ... Hahahahaha ... Getting Back To Story .. Caveman Friend Went To Doing What He Does Best ... SLEEP ~ ... Hahahahahaha .. Bloddy Pig Sia ~ ...

One Year Older But Still Pig Until Cannot ~ ...Hahahahahh .. Still Big Big Piggy Monster ~ ..

Raaaaaawwwwwrrrrrr .... Hahahahaha ... Going Out With Syed Tmrw ... Scouting .. ( Hmmm.. Hahahahaha Bet You Guys Dunnoe What Scouting Is Or Like What We Scouting For Huh?! ) Cannot Tell ~ ... Hahahahahahaha ... Hopefully Tmrw's Enjoyable ...

Well Like .. sHaQ .. DUN ROT AT HOME FOR CHRIST SAKE !!! ... Hahahahahaha Going Out~.. Broke .. But Still Heck Care .. Going Out ... Lalalalalalalaalalalal ....

Like I Swear That I'm Gonna Gummify Myself Sia ... Like Really Like Sinful Indulgence Sia ... OMG !!! ... SHAQ .. STOP EATING ALL THE GUMMIES ~ .. Muz Share =X ...

I've Been Thinking Alot Lately I Think .. My Hand Like Shivering The Entire Day Today Sia .. Then Like Mummy Was Toking About My Past .. My Hand Shiver Till The Spoon Drop Sia .. Mummy Was Like.. " boy you okay? " ... Hahahahah ..

Hahahahahaha .. Like I Hope That All's Okay ..

Yeah...
It's my life...
My own words I guess...

Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?
When they know they're your heart
And you know you were their armour
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'her
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?
And everything you stand for, turns on you, despite you?
What happens when you become the main source of her pain?

And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back

part of the lyrics from "when i'm gone by eminem

2009-01-27T23:52:00.005+08:00

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY TO ME ~

hahahahaha .. yeap guys its finally here and like on the stroke of midnight i opened up my present .. and like here there are ...

thankx mummy .. super love the flip flops !!! .. Dam Nice Ar ..!! Metallic Havaianas =)) ..

Thanks For The Tigger...
The Hat...
The Piggy Bank...
The Turtle...
The HandMade Deco-ed Pen...
The Card...
The Origami Swan...
The Chocolates...
The Gummies !! ..
Last But Not Least .. The Love & Effort That You Put In ..

Mummy Was Like Asking Me .. sHaQ .. You're 18 .. Why You Always Carrying The Tigger Around And Smiling Like Crazy .. Hahahahah .. Like I Swear That I Going To Get Fat With All The Gummies That You Gave Me .. Its Like I Placed The Box Beside My Bed And Like I Juz Keep On Eating .. Its Like .. Bored = Eat Gummi ... Hahahahah ..

Bear ~ .. OOoooOO .. Scary! ... By The Way .. I Named The Tigger ...Pocky =)... Wanted To Name His Peace .. But Like Not So Cute ...

Didn't Really Do Much Today ( Thats Why I Eat So Much Gummi =X ) .. Juz Like Played Canon .. And And And .. I've Reached The Chorus !! .. Finally !! .. So Proud Of Myself ... Self-Taught Myself To Play Canon So Well =) ..

Family Brought Me To Have Dinner @ Restaurant !! .. Large Spread =) ... Weeee ...

From Right To Left , Beef Kailan , Sweet & Sour Garupa , Oat Prawns , Spicy Mussels & Mixed Vegs =) ... SCRUMPDELIUMTIOUS ~ ....

Hhahahahah ... Big Big Monster At Work .. =X ....
Yum Yum Yum Yum Yum ... Deliciaso ~ .... Hahahahahahah ..

Didn't Have A Birthday Cake On My Birthday This Year .. But Like I Still Gonna Make A Wish Nv The Less So Like I Had To Compromise And ~ . . . .

Ta-da ~ Hahahahaha .. Cookies And Cream Ice Cream & Cadbury Chocolate Chunks With A Candle .. Pocky Was There To Celebrate With Me =) ..

( Does It Count As An Ice Cream Cake ?! ) Hahahahahah ...

I'm Unsure Of How To Know If My Wish Will Be Granted .. But I Know That My Heart Will Know .. How I Wished That I Could Have Wings ~ ... Lalalalalalalalalal ...

Thanks Everyone For The Birthay Wishes =) .. Appreciate Your Sweet Words ...

2009-01-26T22:41:00.006+08:00

Today has been like somewhat .. Progressive I Shall Say ... I Made Quite Abit Of Progress On Canon ... And Like Yeah I Practically Juz Did That And Like Chatted Online Stuff Like That ...

Kinda Empty Day .. But Like Yeah .. Its My Birthday Tmrw ... Hope That It Will Be A Nice Day .. Looking Forward To Opening The Present That I Recieve .. Its My Second Present After Mummie's Present =) ...

Gotta Admit That I've Been Dreaming About How This Day Would Have Been Like Since 130808 .. And Like Now That It's Here .. Its Different .. But I Guess That Everythin Happens For A Reason .. So I Gotta Get Thru This ..

baby-g

2009-01-26T01:17:00.005+08:00

HAPPY CNY TO ALL MY FWENDIES !!!
HONG BAO NA LAI =X ..

Didn't Do Much .. I Swear Today Was Like A Super Piggy Day ... Like I Went Online And Like Practically Did Nothing Much .. Like FaceBooked .. Blog Hopped ..

Had Some Progress On Canon With The Keyboard

.. Like I'm So Looking Forward To All The CNY Hse Visits And Stuff ...

And Like I Swear .. I So Cannot Wait To Open The Presents That I've Recieved .. Tmrw Midnight ... WOOOOOOO ...

Gonna Be My Birthday Soon Liao ... Omg sHaQ .. You're Getting Older ...

To Town With Syed And Spend Time With Baby:)

2009-01-25T00:31:00.004+08:00

Like Got Up Today And Hse Was Empty .. Mummy Daddy Went Out And Like They Got Me So Much Food For Breakfast Sia .. 2 Waffles & Tau Huey .. I Know I Like Pig .. But Like That Much Meh ?! .. Hahahhahahahah ...

Met Up With Best Bro , Syed And Like We Went To Bugis And Like He Thought That Penisular Was There And Like It Was At City Hall ... Funny Sia .. We Came From City Hall ... Hahahahaha ...

Then We Like Muz Act Kewl So Like Went To Use My iPhone And Like Use The Map Thingy And Like Search Out The Route To Penisular From Bugis .. Then Like Dam Fun Sia .. Turn Left Here .. Walk Straight Till There And Stuff ... Felt Like Dora the Explorer Sia =) .. Syed Can Be Dora .. I Wanna Be The Monkey , Boots ... Hahahahahah ...

Then Like Reach Peni Walk walk Around And Like Found Nothing .. I Think Cuz We Not Into That Kinda Fashion ... Got Class Abit Rite ,Syed ... Hahahahaha ...

Went To Raffles City And Like Went To Find A Book Called .. 'The Game' .. Its Some Kewl Book That Syed Was Reading About How To Pick Up Chicks .. Haahahaha .. =) .. Nothing Wrong About That At All .. Its Under Self-Improvement =X ...

Approached By Some Modelling Agency Guy .. iModel Or Something Like That ... Hahahah .. Apple Has A Modelling Agency ?! .. I Didn't Know that ... I Can Be Their Newest Product ..

iShaq..Hahahahahahaha !!!! ... The Handsome Boy Who Does Nothing But Be Handsome And Loves His Baby =) .. Hahahahahahaha!!! ...

Syed Went Home And Like I Went To Like Loiter At Stupid Places .. Ended Up At Novena ... And Like Got Some Auntie Came Up To Me And Ask Me Where I Dye My Hair .. Like WTF !!!! ..She Say My Hair Nice .. Then I Was Like Yeah .. Thanks .. Bye ... Hahahahaha ... Kanna Admired By Auntie Sia .. Sadded =( .. Hahahahaha ...

Then Like I Made My Way Home =) ... Slacked And Played Keyboard Abit ..

Last Day With W26C

2009-01-23T00:00:00.004+08:00

Wow .. I Can't Believe This Day Is Finally Here .. At The Start Of The Sem .. I've Gotta Admit That I Thought That I Would Be Longing For This Day To Come.. But Now That Its Here .. I Wish For Today To Nv End ...

( But Then Hor ... Cannot Ar .. Then I Can Nv Turn 18 And Spend Another Blissful Day With My Babygal =D )

So Like Yeah .. I Guess This Is The Academic End To W26C .. I Can't Believe That We Made It Thru Sia .. Despite The Thick Indian Accents And The Cyclops And Mr.HardCore Nerdman.. I Know That We Still Was There For Each Other And Like We Had Our Share Of Fun And Laughter .. And Like Almost Police Case Too .. That Was A Major Shock ...

Well .. Jokes Aside ... I Really Wanna Apologise To You Guys For Not Spending So Much Time With You Guys At The Start Of The Sem... I Was Like Always .. Meeting Others And Like I Nv Really Made It For Any Class Outing ... I Totally Didn't Manage My Time Well .. I Wished That I Had ...

But I Knew That I Had No Regrets Whatsoever .. The Time Spent With You Guys In Class Was Like Hardcore Sia ... Laugh Till Cannot And Like Still Disturb Here And There ...

I Will Really Miss All Those Stupid Things That We Did ... Like Toilet Party And The Kinky Talk .. I Still Cannot Forget Sia ... " What Is Orgy " Hahahahahah .. Laugh Like Siao Sia ...

Then Like The Funny Part Was That The Conve Didn't End There .. Still Continue Sia ... Till talk About Gangbang And Shit Like That .. You All Ar .. Haiz ! .. =X ...

Leen , i cannot thank you enough for being the one that i could always turn to when i needed someone to tok to or someone to be random with for 5 years and 24 days .. and counting ... BIBABOO !! =) ..

Jo,wah there's a million and one things that i wanna say to you but i juz can't seem to find the words .. you we're always there for me .. be it happy times or sad .. and like you always tried to bring a smile to class no matter what .. so glad that i've a fren like you .. thanks for always being there ..

RuiWei , The Bringer Of Kicks To The Nuts And Mousey .. I Going To Miss Mousey .. Like I Swear That You Really Can Take All The Craps I Give You Sia .. I Called You Soo Many Names And It Hurts .. Or At Least It Supposed To .. But You Didn't Break .. You Stood Tall And You Kicked Me In The Balls .. Hahahah ... Seriously, Nv Gonna Find Another Friend As Cheeky And Playful As You Sia .. My Wifey .. RuiWei .. Thanks..

*tears start to roll down my face*

Qiling, like you were always the one with the most disgusting random things to say .. and like seriously ar .. you dam blurr sia ... but it made you who you are .. you always think i bad sia .. KUKU !!! .. then like I remember you for being the crazy one who lay down on the floor when you weren't feeling to good .. seriously you crazy sia qiling .. thanks for all the fun shits ...

Khai , i really dunnoe how you take my nonsence for one year sia .. but yeah... you did .. thanks for that .. What Newspaper Will You Nv See Khai Reading .. ( Think , Think , Think ) .. Straight Times !!! ... Hahahahahahaha ...

RuiQi , you were always the quiet one but you nv failed to do your best when it came to studies ..like i could always tok to you so freely and know that you would understand ... thanks for all the blogshopping sprees tgt =) .. have faith my dear fren .. dungiveup k :) ...

Hong Wee, you always brought joy and laughter to the class with all your silly antiques .. karipok , bangala island , and today with your hugs for the class ... you're really cute in your own little way and you seem to be super happy all the time ... i hope that you'll be that way always ..

Hanis, Hanis Hanis .. where do i start , somewhere near the woodlands checkpoint i guess.. hahaha ..like you're always the fun one ar .. and like i totally had time fooling around and like distubing you .. it was fun .. and like i know that kanna disturb from you also fun !! .. ahahahaha .. thanks , malaysian camwhore ..hanisboleh !! ...

NaT, the tall one ..like we don't really chat much but i know that we share one love .. photography ..and like seriously ar dam cool sia .. my second fren with peranakan blood =) .. muz make kaya for the class one day k =) ...one day we when we both get DSLRs we go take pics k ...

Guys ,
Randy Aka Ran Ran
Javier Aka Jav
Loke Chok Wai Aka Vincent
Dan The Man
Sun Xiong Aka Jackie Chan
Naren Aka Mr Bean ( Seriously Ar.. Mr Bean La Sial )

I Seriously Had Loads Of Fun With You Guys Ar .. Like We Crap Until Cannot Sia .. Like I Swear That I Could Laugh My Ass Off Sia With You Guys .. Like You Guys Have Been So Selfless This Past Sem .. Thanks =) ..

I'll Miss You Guys ..
Thanks For The Memories W-TooSexy!! ...

I Can Wait Forever - Simple Plan

2009-01-21T00:01:00.001+08:00

"I Can Wait Forever By Simple Plan"

You look so beautiful today
When you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away
So i try to find the words that i could say
I know distance doesn't matter but you feel so far away
And I cant lie
Every time I leave my heart turns gray
And I want to come back home to see your face
And I
Cause I just cant take it

Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But I can wait
I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it wont stop bleeding
But I can wait
I can wait forever

You look so beautiful today
It's like every time I turn around I see your face
The thing I miss the most is waking up next to you
When I look into your eyes, I wish that I could stay
And I cant lie
Every time I leave my heart turns gray
And I want to come back home to see your face
And I
Cause I just cant take it

Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But I can wait
I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it wont stop bleeding
But I can wait
I can wait forever

I know it feels like forever
I guess that's just the price I gotta pay
But when I come back home to feel your touch
Makes it better
Till that day
Theres nothing else that I can do
And I just cant take it
I just cant take it

Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But i can wait
I can wait forever (I can wait forever)
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it wont stop bleeding
But I can wait
I can wait forever
I can wait forever
I can wait forever...

To My Beloved Princess , Siyan =]

2009-01-20T00:01:00.005+08:00

To My Dear Princess Siyan =] ...

a week is all that seperates me and my birthday and soon i will be 18 and like there's a million things that i feel that will always be left unsaid... no matter what ... i know that the past few months that we shared weren't the best of times and i know that i didn't paint much rainbows for you... i truly wish i could ... juz to see that smile on your face .. juz to know that your feeling safe .. i remember when you used to believe in me so much and how when i was down you used to tell me that 'tmrw will be a better day' .. i used to feel so warm inside knowing that you knew how much such words could move me .. and its nv really needed anythin more from you ... you were there when i needed you .. you appreciated what i had to give .. even if it wasn't much .. you knew that i would nv fail to put my heart and soul to everything that i do for you.. you spared your time juz to be there for me when i needed you so very much ... when the whole world seemed to turn their back .. you stood there .. you showed me that you care ... i fell more and more in love with you every single day and i saw how you changed from that shy gal who tried to avoid those long slides and tried not to speak so much during presentation to the strong and confident Siyan that i know now and i'm glad that you grew to be this strong ... i'm happy for you ... i saw you try to pursue your intrest in guitar ... and when things seemed to be so wrong for you ... i stood by yourside ... tried to things alrite ... i was so happy that you were juz like me .. a leftie .. we're not like the rest Siyan .. you and me .. We're special .. always were and forever in my heart we will be ... i found in you a spirit so strong .. something so different from the rest .. something that made you stand out from the crowd .. it made me proud .. i will nv forget the first time i looked into your eyes and found you so cute .. you had somethin in you ..
i remember how i thought that you were like ' into ' me too ... and like i juz wanted to laugh somehow .. but i knew deep down inside that i couldn't take my eyes off you ... i juz kept taking glaces at you all through out the first day and i remembered when you first spoke to me in the canteen and like you asked me to eat ' why you nv eat? you so skinny .. later wind blow you away ' . . . i still remember the first time we went out together for a movie ... it was congkak .. the ticket that we kept may be faded now .. but not the memories that we share .. i was so glad that we got the chance to see a movie together ... and till today ... we've seen many .. and i remember how you didn't think that animation movies was so nice and i brought you to see KungFu Panda and you enjoyed yourself .. i was so happy that i could change that ... the days that we shared was always filled with smiles and even if things didn't work out right .. we would always tell each other that tmrw will be a better day ... and it wasn't juz words .. we really would try to make it a better day ... i still remember how you held me and walked me to causeway when i was feeling unwell .. how you carefully place abit of the fishball noodles into the small bowl for me and how you tried to break a small chunk of fishball for me .. i felt so cared for .. there was nothing more that i needed .. nothing more .. you completed me .. i know that i'm rather young .. but in my heart .. you'll always be the gal who's 18 .. and when i'm 19 .. you'll be 19 too ... and when we're 80 years old sitting side by side .. you'll still be that 19 year old gal that i fell for .. i know that we're of different races .. its not something that happens everyday ... and i know not about how your family will take it .. i know that my mummy only wants the best for you and me and ..did you know that she prays for me and you every single day.. prays for us to be happy.. i know that at times ... you feel that my family doesn't accept you ... but i know that they will definately i know that they will ... i'm their son .. i know that they will love you knowing that i love you and that you have brought a certain kind of happiness to their youngest child ( the cute one ) .. my parents just want us to be happy thats all ..they want to see me happy .. and when i'm down .. i will know that there you'll be .. to take away my frown ... siyan .. i know that i held on to tightly .. i was eating into your space in the past ... you were like caught .. you didn't have the freedom and thats why you soon started to see your days becoming more and more in shades of grey.. so did mine ... love is not about all those things ...

Love Is Peace
Love Is Setting The Other Party At Ease...
Love Is A Box Of Chocolates...
Love Is Harmony
Love Is Sweeter Than Honey
Love Is Words Of Encouragement...
Love Is Faith
Love Is Making You Feel Safe ...
Love Is Packet Of Cookies Shared...
Love Is Hate
Love Is Wishing You Sweet Dreams Before You Head To Bed ...
Love Is Leaving Footprints In The Sand...
Love Is Respect
Love Is Not About Lies And Doing Things Behind Your Back...
Love Is An Hour Bus Ride To Somewhere You Don’t Need To Be At...
Love Is Hope
Love Is Being There For You When You Juz Can't Seem To Cope ...
Love Is A Kiss In The Rain...
Love Is Believe
Love Is Knowing That Having You In My Heart Is A Gift ...
Love Is Medication That Heals The Pain...
Love Is Care
Love Is Knowing That I Will Always Be There ...
Love Is Giving Your All And Knowing That You Need Nothing In Return...
Love Is Trust
Love Is Knowing That Your Happiness Is Not A Need But A Must ...
Love Is Acceptance Not Change...
Love Is Perfect
Love Is Letting You Go And Knowing That Love Will Guide You Back ...
Love Is Sharing A McFlurry Ice Cream...
Love Is Grace
Love Is Knowing That There's Nothing More That Warms My Heart Than Your Embrace ...
Love Is Knowing That You Will Never Feel Out Of Place...
Love Is Fear
Love Is Knowing That You Will Always Be There To Lend Your Listening Ear...
Love Is About Taking Chances For The People You Care About...
Love Is Knowing That You’re Special...
Love Is Knowing That Every Mistake Made Is A Lesson Learnt
Love Is A Rainbow In The Heart ...
Love Is Knowing That We’ll Never Be Apart...

i know that it wasn't easy at all ... and it hasn't been easy for me either ... knowing that i can't tell you how much i still miss you and how much i still love you ...how i long to feel your warmth.. how i long to be loved by you ..

" Gone So Young By Amber Pacific "

I never dreamt it'd be this way
I lost any chance for me to say
To say that I miss you, say that I love you
Will someone please tell me I'm okay

I wasn't prepared for what's to come
A life made of memories gone so young
And now I'm regretting all I've done
But in your heart you know that I'm with you all along

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
I'm in your heart tonight

I never thought that this could go
And take me away from all I know
And leave me to think I'm on my own
But your love will take me, you were the one...

...Who sat through nights
You held me tight
And made sure I'm okay
And I thank you for the love you gave to me

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
I'm in your heart tonight...

Tonight...

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright

And if I should fall, I know you're waiting
And if I should call, I know you're there
If ever you cry just knowI'm in your heart tonight...
I'm in your heart tonight...

I remember when we used to chat till 4am in the morning and still have more to tok about and how we wished that we still could chat for another 5 mins or so... i remember how i went to learn how to make rocher and toblerone roses juz to impress you and it was the first gift that i gave to you..and like i still remember on june the 6th ( 2nd ECP trip ) i was supposed to send you back and like i didn't , i felt so bad .. but Siyan .. i had to do something , had to set things straight.. On that midnight , I still remember my oath to you on that very midnight and how i swore to be there forever and always..I gave you my heart & soul ..I remember all those times we shared that was so filled with love and how i was so so so happy to recieve my very first goodnight msg for you and i remeber how i used to try to come up with goodnight messages for you ... every single day and how i would try my best to write poems to you and juz make you feel so loved .. make you feel special .. make you feel happy .. make you smile ... i remembered all those nights that i stayed up drawing somethin special for you and how i would juz stay up at night juz incase you couldn't sleep and needed company...and how i used to like disturb you and like try to trick you every once in awhile .. don't know if you remember that time about the Olympic glass from Macdolands.. ' muz take picture of the glass or cups that you recieve , if not is like bad luck ' then you went ... 'aiyoh .. i think i every year recieve one cup or glass from my friends leh ..how? ' Hahahahahaha ... i also remembered when we used to chat till 3 or 4 am in the morning and we juz had a million question all about our lives and the calls spent together were not enough ... and how i used to help you out with your RJs and like i was able to write 800 word long RJs for you and somehow i would juz submit an 50 word long RJ for myself ... I remembered how i used to try my very best to help you .. in everythin that you do .. like when i helped you find how to get to NUS .. to get the bursary .. somewhat helped you out with math during the O lvl period ... accompany you to make sure that you're alrite ... I remember how i used to think of the sweetest words to shower you with and how i would always go ' sweet anot? .. sweet rite ..? faster say i sweet leh ...' then like you would juz laugh...will always remember how i used to dry your tears and fight away your fears .. how we used to tickle each other like crazy and like we would juz like disturb each other ... remember how we went to vivo together for the first time and stood by the railing gazing at the sea together knowing that we were there for each other and we both loved to juz gaze upon the sea ..i remember how i used to be there for me juz like how you were there for me too.. i remember how we used to juz look up at the stars and admired thier beauty .. how you used to believe that the heavens cries along with me ...how i like went to plan for our every month anniversary even before we got together .. and like yeah .. i didn't really mean it .. Love is not something that is meant to be controlled or planned for ..Siyan ..

like when i held your hands.. i knew what i wanted .. i held everything that i wanted .. everythin that i needed ... i held you .. what do you want Siyan ..?

i know that we may be in different classes now .. but nothing else matters as long as we have each other in hearts right .. Siyan i know that deep down inside you ... there's still apart of you which has the mercy to give us a chance ... intertwine our paths once again ...

i know that we made mistakes in the past .. but its for us to learn from and i know that its with this lessons that we will grow stronger ... not to think that we shouldn't be together any longer...

"Angel By Leona Lewis "

I feel it, you feel it
That this was meant to be.
I know it, you know it
That you were made for me.

We can't deny this any longer
Day by day it's getting stronger.
I want it, you want it
It's what the people want to see.

We're like Romeo and Juliet
Families can't divide us.
Like the tallest mountain or the widest sea
Nothing's big enough to hide us.
When we make love its overwhelming

I just touch the heavens
You're an angel, you're an angel
I said this world, this world.
Could leave us anyday

But my love for you, it will never go away.
And I don't wanna go to sleep'cause you are like a dream
For every night I say a prayer,And I swear you are the answer
You're an angel, you're an angel, you're an angel.

So we take it each moment our love grows
I see it, you see it,What we have is made of gold
We're so filled with meaning,Nothing can make us shallow.
So I hold it, and you hold it

The promise of tomorrow.
When we make love its overwhelming
I just touch the heavens.
You're an angel, you're an angel

And I said this world, this world
Could leave us anyday
But my love for you, it will never go away.
And I don't wanna go to sleep'cause you are like a dream

For every night I say a prayer,
And I swear you are the answer
You're an angel, you're an angel, you're an angel.

I don't need three wishes
Well I just need one
For us to never be finished
For us to never be done

When they say it's over
We'll just say I love you
And when they say it's finished
We'll just keep on building.

And I said this world, this world
Could leave us anyday
But my love for you, it will never go away.
And I don't wanna go to sleep'cause you are like a dream

For every night I say a prayer,And I swear you are the answer [x2]
You're an angel, you're an angel, you're an angel.
Yes you are. You're an angel

"Here I Am"

This is a crazy world
These can be lonely times
It's hard to know who's on your side
Most of the time

Who can you really trust
Who do you really know
Is there anybody out there
Who can make you feel less alone
Some times you just can't make it on your own

If you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am, hmmm

If you have broken dreams
Just lay them all on me
I'll be the one who understands
So take my hand

If you reach emptyness

You know I'll do my best
To fill you up with all the love
That I can show someone
I promise you you'll never walk alone

Well if you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am, oooo

Everybody needs somebody who
keep a heart and soul in two

Well if you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am, Here I am

... i'll always be your prince ...
... always be your monster ...
... always be your guardian angel ...
... always be your daddy =] ...
... always be the handsome guy ...

... Always Be Your Baby ...

P.S. Siyan .. you know what i always wanted to do .. you know what makes me happy and you know what brings a frown to my face .. you know where i always wanted to go with you but nv had the chance to .. you know that the pleasures in my life are not at all complex .. there simple pleasure .. but pleasures that touch the heart and warm the soul .. paints rainbows in my heart .. i need not expensive gifts .. i need no gift .. for you yourself .. has always been a gift to me .. your presences , your embrace , the smile on your face ...

perhaps we didn't get to go out this entire month of january for a reason .. hopefully that the day that we spend will be special and hopefully it will make my january cuz this january has been so gloomy for me .. i had a glimpse of a rainbow in the heart ... will you make me feel that again..?

you once said .. treat others the way that you wanna be treated .. and i treated you so specially hoping in return i will feel that way too Siyan .. i had faith in those words and till today i still do .. faith is not somethin weak Siyan .. true faith lives forever in the heart .. immortalised in one's soul...something that should treasured as much as gold .. even if its something that we can't hold ..

i nv really asked for much .. appreciation and faith is all i asked for ... a simple heartfelt thank you or a smile at least .. faith in me .. faith in us .. and most importantly Siyan .. faith in yourself ...siyan you know that i will always fight for all that i believe in and you know that my love for you nv faded .. nothing will be able to do that .. nv .. not when i love you the way that i do ..

i know what i did was a big big blow to you .. it hurt you so bad... it cut the ropes of assuarance that i had thrown out to you ..but now i offer you not a rope but my hand these battered and bursied palms of the guardian angel that was once the one who was there... you need not ask me if i would be there ... you knew that i always would ... no matter what .. nothing else mattered when i knew that i was following my heart ... i know that i've wrong ... i've sinned ... but i am sorry siyan ..

i nv meant to hurt you with my sudden change in path and you know that it was somewhat aprupt .. i knew that too .. but it ended off as abruptly too .. the only reason for that was because i couldn't make her feel as secure as i did with you .. i couldn't love her as whole heartedly as i did towards you .. i couldn't think about her and miss her as much as i did towards you .. i couldnd't assure her as much as i did towards you ...

my feelings for you didn't fade .. it has always been growing ... like a rose you kept it growing and growing ... i juz want you to know that i'm truly sorry for all that i've done and i hope that you can find it in yourself to forgive me ... everyone deserves a second chance .. i know that this is not the first time that you've heard this .. but siyan .. love is all about mercy and beliving in the one that you love ...

i'll fight for what i believe in ..
i'll not let my dreams drown in mistakes that i've made
i'll wait forever ..
i'll always be there ..
i'll nv let you fall .. nv again ...

all i ever wanted was to love and be loved , you will always be in my heart .. forever & always ..

To My Lighthouse , Eva

2009-01-19T00:00:00.011+08:00

To My Lighthouse , Eva

you've been like a sister to me this past few months and i knew that when ever i needed help regarding love and stuff .. i would turn to you .. i would ask you .. i would trust you and believe in you .. you seem to always be there for me and like we used to have soo many fun filled memories together .. though its like 99% of the time disturbing one another .. we still had fun .. like we knew that it was all in the name of fun ..and like we were juz kidding ...when i was picking out Siyan's birthday gift .. you were there .. if it wasn't for you .. i wouldn't have brought myself to getting the stuff from 'made with love' and i wouldn't have like bought the stuff ... you took time off from your day and you made time for me to pick out the gift and like i knew that you only wanted for me and siyan to be happy ..

all throughout this months .. you guided me .. i was like the little lost boat and you were the lighthouse that guided me.

when things became sour ( so not disturbing your name , Suan Suan ) .. like i didn't think things thru at all .. i did things that i regret but i know that regret nv turned back the hands of time .. nothing ever will .. but mercy does makes everything alrite after the dusk turns to dawn ... when i think back at the past .. i seriously feel that i was &*^&ing childish and like seriously .. like What the fish sia ... Chao Ji Dan ... Imagine losing a person who treated you like a brother over a cherry stalk .. like i know now that its not that , which builds a friendship but its faith , care , concern and believe in one another .. Eva , i'd rather be a sucker in kissing that to lose a friend like you ... i know that things may be better now and that we're closer that we were 2 months ago .. i'm glad for that ... i cannot thank you enough for being so merciful and so understanding ..sometimes i wished that i could be that way 2 months ago when all the stuff happened.. if only i could like think properly and made things right at that point of time ... but seriously .. looking back .. a cherry stalk for a friendship is one heck of an unfair trade ..

you were there to guide me when i was feeling lost .. you didn't let the little boat go astray.. thank you ..

you make me proud.

2009-01-12T23:43:00.005+08:00

I Was So Glad For Everythin That I Had Done Today Juz To See A Smile On Your Face ... Especially The Drawing And The Smiley Faced Ballon .. Not Forgetting ..

Eeyore In PJs !! =)) .. Cute Sia ...

I'm So Proud Of You Siyan ... Proud That You Were Strong And You Kept Holding On ... You Were Disciplined And You Nv Failed To Take Time Off To Revise For The Os..

( Sometimes I Had To Like Remind You .. But You Still Did It Whole Heartedly ..I Know.. )

I Was So Excited When I Was Heading For Causeway Point ... And I Was Even More Happy When The I Saw That The Ballon Was On Sale And That There Still Was The Eeyore In PJs That You Liked =)) ...

Hahahahahahah ... I Was Super Happy When I Was Walking Back From Causeway ... I Rushed Back Juz In Time To Get The Ballon Tied To Eeyore's Hand And I She Msn-ed Me ...

!!!! SIYAN PASSED !!!!! =)) SUPER HAPPY ~

like I immediatly Went Running Outta Classs Sia ... Wanted To Find Her And Suprise Her With The Eeyore And The Ballon =)) ... Then Like I Ran Over To Her Class And Like Her Fren Spotted Me And After I Hid The Eeyore At The Seat Beside Her Class... She Came Out... Then Like Wah ~ ...

She Was Like So Happy Sia ... So Happy To See You Smile Siyan ! =) .. Then Like .. Asked Her To Close Her Eyes And Like Walked Her Over To The Gift ...

Hahahahahaah .. There It Was... Eeyore In PJs Holding On To The Smiley Faced Ballon =))) ...

She Was Like So Happy Sia ... Then Like We Sat Down For Awhile And Like Chatted .. She Was So Happy Till Tear Filled Her Eyes ... It Was The Same For Me Too ... Couldn't Help But To Be Utterly Overjoyed !! ..

And Like .. She Did So Well !! .. B3 ar ! ..Wah Pro Seh Somebody .. !! ..

i was super happy about today .. it was so blissful and i saw her smile a smile from the heart.. there was nothing that could make my day better than that =)) .. i was simply in heaven sia .. and like for the second time in my life .. i felt a rainbow in my heart !! =))) ... i'm happy that she was happy and i know that she was so relieved .. set free .. one less worry in the bottle ...

hahahahahaha... today was one of the bestest days of my life .. everything turned out so well .. like a fairytale ... to the one up there .. thanks for answering my prayers .. i felt as if i was taking the Os sia .. like i spent so much time being there for her and like helping her out till i shared her worries and felt as if today was the big day for me too ... hahahahah ... i was glad that i was there...

the knight in shiny armour .. to fight away her fears .. dry her tears ...

You Make Me Proud Siyan !! =]

Thanks for paiting me a rainbowintheheart .. Thanks For Making Today The 'Better Day' That We've Been So Looking Forward To .. Thanks For Staying Strong ... Thanks For Not Giving Up.. Thanks Letting Me Be There ... Thanks For Making Me Smile !! .. =] ...

CONGRATS TO SIYAN & SYED

2009-01-11T23:12:00.003+08:00

"I Still By Backstreet Boys"

"Who are you now?
Are you still the same
Or did you change somehow?
What do you do
At this very moment when I think of you?
And when I'm looking back
How we were young and stupid
Do you remember that?

No matter how I fight it
Can't deny it
Just can't let you go

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

Now look at me
Instead of moving on, I refuse to see
That I keep coming back
And I'm stuck in a moment
That wasn't meant to last (to last)

I've tried to fight it
Can't deny it
You don't even know

That I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

No no
Wish I could find you
Just like you found me
Then I would never let you go (without you)

Though everything's been said and done (yeah)
I still feel you (I still feel you)
Like I'm right beside you (like I'm right beside you)
But still no (still no word) word from you..

.. here i am ..praying and praying that you'll be fine tmrw .. praying that you're okay .. praying that you're not alone .. not in your thoughts, heart & soul ... cuz i'll be like like i said that i would .. and i wished that i could be there to see you open that mail more than anythin ... it has always been part of my dream .. to be there for you when you recieve your results...to be there for you..

2009-01-11T22:02:00.004+08:00

RULE#1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

I, sHaQ =) have been tagged by YAP SI YAN !!! ( If I Not Wrong ) 。。。

1. Do you have secrets?
Yeah , eh wait .. i think got .. should be ba .. ( STM )

2. Would you fall in love with a boy/girl younger than you?
depends .. not till the extent that i become a pidofile( i soooOOo spelled that wrongly .. =X )

3. How long do you intend to wait for someone u really love?
till my last breath..

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Buy A Pure White Grand Piano & Serenade Her To Tears =) .. ( happy tears )
Save The Pandas !!
Lifetime supply of CHOCOLATES !!!!
I Will Buy For Her A Minature Horse And Paint It Blue =) .. eeyore ! ..
Bring Her To Japan !! :)
Bring A Smile To Little Children Faces =)) .. Be SANTA !! ..

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
I already did now didn't i .. hahahahah... =X

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Ar .. My Dream .. To Love & To Be Loved =) ..

7.List out 3 favourite things that u love?
Family,Friends,Her

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Follow my heart =) , even it hurts .. anything for her smile =) ...

9. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
love , from parents & her & friends ..

10. List 1 thing you hate?
Dragonfly !! ( Dragon Sia .. Scary !! ) Bzzzzzzzz ... EEEE !

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?
In a Mirror !!! Hahahahahahahaahahahah !!!!
Ar .. Seriously .. Anywhere Will Be Fine .. As Long As I'm With Her =))

12. Who is currently the most important people to you?
1.Mummy 2.Her 3.Fwendies !!!

13. What is being regarded as the most important thing in your life?
Most definately.. it would be to see her smile once again ...

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
Married But Poor .. Love Always Outshines Riches .. We'll Work And Earn .. Juz To Make Ends Meet And To See A Smile =) ..

15. What are your favourite colours?
WHITE !!! PURPLE !!! BLACK !!!

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, and both of them do the same, who would you pick?
The One That My Heart Leads Me To =) ..

17. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
Depends On Me & My Heart .. I'll try to be as merciful as i can be ...

18. What do you want to tell the someone you like?
the poem on the top =) " .. i'll be there .. forever & always .."

19. If there is a choice between lover and friends,which will you choose?
No Choice .. Both ! ... Hahahaha ... Most Definately I Want Both To Get Along Well =) ..

20. Do you believe that there's "True Love"?
MOST DEFINATELY !!! ..

5 ppl who's goin to do tis survey:

..Darren ! ..Nerrad ..
.. Sammy !..
..MOO MOO~ !! ...
..Alex !..
.. Brendan ! ..